The dating world seems to be getting more complex these days, with so many rules, twists and turns. In the age of social media and viral horror stories of bad first dates gone wrong, it is important to use discernment and self-knowledge when pursuing a new relationship. Here’s why.

It Protects Your Heart

The majority of us made stupid mistakes in the name of love in our younger years. Many of our mistakes happened because of a lack of self-awareness and boundaries. Knowing yourself means that you are able to trust your intuition and know when a person or situation does not favor you. This then empowers you to walk away from situations that have the potential to cause you heartache.

Black woman holding a flower
Photo Credit: Fernanda Mendes

It Saves You Time

Many times, we may wonder from one relationship to another toxic relationship because we did not know who we are. Having an intimate knowledge of yourself helps you quickly recognize what qualities you want in a partner. Recognizing what you want in another person is the first step, recognizing it in your date is another. The more you know yourself, the easier it is to determine if your date fits your criteria. This saves time, and saves you an unnecessary painful breakup down the road.

Black man and woman
Photo Credit: Ricardo Esquivel

You Have Established Self-Dependence

Sometimes people make the mistake of morphing into the person they are dating. When this happens, it is because they do not have a fully formed identity of their own and are easily swayed. Taking time to know yourself before dating allows you the freedom of experimenting, exploring and knowing what you like and dislike as well as forming thoughts and opinions of your own. An established sense of self-dependence is invaluable for a thriving, healthy romantic relationship.

Black woman wearing jean jacket
Photo Credit: nappy

You Date Without Desperation

There is an inherent power in self-knowledge. When you know yourself, you can identify your blind spots, your assets and the role you play in your relationships. When it comes to dating, a large dose of self-awareness can eliminate desperation and insecurity, causing you to date every potential partner without feeling like they are the only option you have. This allows you approach each relationship with openness and confidence, which is the ultimate currency when you are dating.