Letting go of control can feel like releasing the only power that you have. Control has a funny way of making this power seem real over how things turn out in our lives or the functionality of our relationships. But it doesn’t actually exist. Still, we struggle to release it, allowing things and people to be what and who they are.
Podcaster and self-development author Mel Robbins’ “Let Them Theory” episode is making waves online for this topic: garnering over 15 million views. TikTok users are sharing the meaning behind the method, as well as how-tos and stories of control released. According to the “Let Them Theory,” instead of trying to control a person, let them do what they were originally going to do. Here’s a bit more about Robbins and the “Let Them Theory.”
Who Is Mel Robbins and What Other Theories Does She Have?
Robbins was a lawyer until she pivoted in 2011. She wrote her first self-development book titled Stop Saying You’re Fine: Discover A More Powerful You before becoming known for a host of tips and tricks. Robbins led a TEDx Talk called “How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over” and coined a five-second rule that disrupts procrastination when a great idea pops into our minds. She says to count down from five and then take action before the idea is lost.
What Are TikTokers Saying About the ‘Let Them Theory’?
The “Let Them Theory” speaks to the illusion of control and how trying to have it, over others, is destructive and pointless. Not only do we need to let the people around us do what they’re going to do; we need to stop getting upset at other people’s actions or taking their actions personally. Robbins says this is the fastest way to gaining control over your own life. The TikTokers who have come across the “Let Them Theory” and popularized it are sharing how adopting the theory is impacting their lives.
@chiditiffany shares that, in her application of the “Let Them Theory,” she struggles to not advise loved ones about how to make better decisions. Up until recently, she viewed her advising as an act of love and protection. However, her therapist reminds her that it’s important to let them: let people learn for themselves, win for themselves, do for themselves. Similarly, @jaclyn_baltazar shares that by applying the “Let Them Theory,” you detach yourself from a person’s actions, helping you to not take what they do personally.
“We can refocus our energy onto more positive things,” she said.
How To Apply the ‘Let Them Theory’
@caitlynkumi takes it a step further by encouraging TikTokers to allow people to believe whatever they will about you. She said that people who do not have the same vision or values as you will often misunderstand you, and it’s your job to let them. Applying the “Let Them Theory” will allow you to stay focused on and in control of your own self. The “Let Them Theory” exposes us and our community for our true intentions and shows where we are on our growth journey.