At first glance the term “almond mom” sounds pretty innocuous. It may conjure the image of a mother who likes healthy foods, sunlight and lots of water. But the classification, made popular on social media, has a much more troubling meaning.
“An almond mom is a parent who follows very strict or dangerously unhealthy eating habits. She attempts to force them on a child or children,” Dr. Janel Gordon, M.D., DipABOM, DipABLM, explained to 21Ninety. “Sometimes, the parent may not intentionally force the ideals on the child. [They] don’t even realize the child is taking on behaviors by watching the parent make restrictive food choices or unhealthy comments about their own body.”
Recently, 21Ninety posted a user generated video to Instagram about an “almond mom” and her “cheeseburger daughters.” The comment section blew up.
“A healthy body image starts at home. So sad to know that so many young women endured this type of trauma,” Dena Bryant of @denbryconsulting wrote.
The video’s creator eventually responded in the comment section as well.
“Just for clarity my mom did not restrict our eating/diets or police our bodies as children or young (and now old lol) adults,” Briea Laurelle wrote. “Some of our relationships with food, in my opinion, was not what I wanted to continue or pass on. In light of what we know now about diet culture, food restriction, yo-yo dieting, and imbalanced eating, I think a lot about how watching the way she sometimes limited HERSELF and went through what so many other women do in terms of how they engage with food has impacted how I do it today.”
The Plight of Daughters with Almond Moms
As Laurelle explained, being the daughter of an almond mom can be complicated. The pressure to conform to a particular dietary standard can lead to an unhealthy relationship with food. The constant emphasis on healthy eating may inadvertently instill anxiety and guilt surrounding food choices creating a potential breeding ground for disordered eating habits.
Gordon often refers women who have been raised by an almond mom to a behavioral health therapist to improve body image, relationship with food and weight if medically indicated.
The doctor also points out, as daughters navigate adolescence, the desire for autonomy clashes with the rigid nutritional expectations set by their almond moms, leading to strained parent-child relationships.
“At times, the affected individual may have difficulty not passing on similar opinions to their children or acting in similar manners as the almond parent, despite a negative view of the parent’s opinions or actions,” Gordon shares. “Or, the individual may have to intervene when the almond parent attempts to do the same thing to the grandchildren.”
She encourages clients not to focus on “perfection” concerning their nutrition, weight, and overall health because it cannot be achieved.
Struggling with Body Image and Food Relationships
Licensed and practicing psychotherapist, Breah Robinson, considers herself a “body liberation therapist.” She also shared her opinion under Laurelle’s video on 21Ninety’s Instagram account.
“I knew nothing about this trend or terminology,” Robinson wrote. “I actually love and appreciate this awareness and reframe. It helps to call out the harm caused by generational trauma associated with body image so that we don’t pass on those generational wounds.”
Robinson explains that to help an almond mom with body image issues, she must understand and conceptualize body image as a trauma. Unfortunately, it is an intergenerational trauma that stems back to the 16th century. During that time, beauty standards were influenced by class systems. And fatphobia was used to control white women and oppress Black women.
“An almond mom doesn’t become an almond mom because of her personal preferences, right? The social climate was set for this very thing,” she mentions. “So we have to then change our perception and our relationship with reality first. And we have to be open to that.”