TikTok has been a social hub for just about everything. It’s a platform to partake in the latest dance challenge, a place to show off self-discovered beauty hacks and also a medium whose algorithm makes it rather simple to go viral.

Just ask a TikToker by the username of “_misslucas.” This woman’s account has now been deleted but she did go viral, and caused quite a stir, when she posted a video explaining that she wanted more “baddie friends.”

“I often wish I had female friends that were more like me… I mean like aesthetically like me, verbally like me and somebody who has choices like I have choices,” she shared. “And I may sound really vain but… I love all of my friends and I love them all for different reasons and they all pull [men]… but I wish I had like another baddie friend.”

“A friend that gets the same amount of [men] that I get, that has to downplay or push [men] to the side. People that have a lot of options.”

The TikTok caused quite a stir online, with users responding that she “wasn’t looking for a friend” but rather someone to “compete with.” The response even made its way back to the viral TikToker, and she clarified her statement by saying that she wasn’t trying to diss her friends. She in fact feels that all of her friends are “baddies.”

This isn’t a piece to bash that woman and her comments, but rather a place to analyze where we have come as a society, and where we have come as women. Are “aesthetics” so drastically important now that – outside of fiercely judging ourselves – we are now also judging our own friends?

Or should we say “friends.”

If this is the way that you think about your “friends,” do you really consider them that? Or are they just “trophies” to bring along with you on excursions? 

Are our looks and our ability to attract men, as women, the only reason that we should be forming relationships with other women?

And what really is a “baddie” and why do we care for ourselves and others to impersonate, or embody, one so much?

The standard that we are coming to hold ourselves – and other women to – is exhausting.

The viral user further clarified her statements by explaining that she only wanted her friends to embody the same level of ambition, the same “aura” or “vibe” that she has.

“I’m elevating in my life and I would like to have more friends that are doing the things that I’m doing,” she shared. “And yes, I want friends that are confident and pretty. I definitely shouldn’t have said aesthetically [in the video].”

But why then use the word “baddie”? And what do these statements imply about the thoughts of her current friend group?

As stated, we’re not here to bash or judge. We’re just here to reflect about where we have come as a collective. What we should really consider now is what this type of ideology implies for our future.

Will a “high-value image” or a “high-value lifestyle” be the determining factor in how we socialize as women? Will we inevitably lose the depth that’s so crucial to our relationships? And will we watch as it’s replaced by superficial preference?

Well, that’s for us to figure out.