French singer and actress, Afida Turner, who is the late Tina Turner’s daughter-in-law, is sharing her plans to have a child. She anticipates conceiving with sperm from her husband, Turner’s son, who died seven months ago.

In an exclusive interview with PEOPLE, the singer revealed that she has relocated to Egypt in an effort to process her grief from losing both her husband, Ronnie Turner, and mother-in-law in less than a year. In her search for happiness, there has been one thing that has kept her going – the idea of having her late husband’s child.

Afida Turner’s New Life

Back in December, the Turner family lost Ronnie – Ike and Tina’s only biological son. He succumbed to colon cancer at the age of 62. Shortly after his death, the Queen of Rock n’ Roll died at the age of 83. Afida says she has not been able to find any peace since then.

“It was very sad that Ronnie passed, and then his mom passed six months after. It is very difficult for me because people only see the music or the pictures, but I go back home and scream the names of my loved ones. [That pain] will never go away,” Afida said to the outlet. “You don’t want to go through this in life. You have to talk to God, otherwise you go nuts and kill yourself. I’m suffering and my heart is destroyed. I’m trying not to lose my mind.”

She recalled the “beautiful” life in Los Angeles that she created with Ronnie that now feels like a nightmare to her. She decided to relocate with just clothes and memories. Those memories are driving her to have his child. She revealed that Ronnie froze his sperm as a birthday gift to her last year before his death.

“I’m going to have Ronnie’s baby!” she exclaimed. “If I can, I’m 46. But we’ll see.”

Afida plans to undergo IVF prior to her birthday on Dec. 22.

“It’s still bad because he’s not here, but what can I do?” she questions. “At least I will have a little one that looks like Ronnie. A monster like me and him, can you imagine?”