Narcissistic personality disorder is a psychological condition marked by an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant craving for admiration and a noticeable lack of empathy for others. Dating a narcissistic person can take a mental toll on a person impacting their life.
Hannah Townsend, a sex and relationship therapist at the Atlanta Therapeutic Collective, explained that 1 in 200 people in the United States is diagnosed with the disorder. When you’re dating one, the relationship can be particularly draining. They might have a large self-image that causes them to fixate on power, success or attractiveness. Dating a narcissistic person can lead to significant changes in behavior and emotional well-being.
“The constant belittling and criticism from a narcissistic partner erodes self-worth,” Townsend said. “A common outcome is a decrease in self-esteem.”
After dating a narcissistic person, you might also struggle to trust people. You might have a heightened vigilance over others’ intentions. It’s also common to struggle with setting boundaries. Another effect of dating a narcissist is a shift in one’s perception of relationships. In the aftermath of your relationship, you might feel that all relationships are transactional or conditional. You might fear that affection depends on meeting the narcissist’s demands.
Other common effects of dating a narcissistic person include chronic anxiety, hyper-vigilance and a tendency to walk on eggshells. You might struggle with guilt, self-blame, emotional numbness, self-censorship and self-neglect. The longer you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it is common to lose your sense of independence. You might feel incapable of making decisions without the narcissist’s input. As your trust in your own judgment weakens, then you may begin to question your reality. Feelings of unworthiness heighten, and the cumulative stress and emotional strain often cause depression, anxiety or post-traumatic stress disorder.
After the relationship ends, it can take time to heal from the aftermath of the unhealthy, off-kilter dynamics. After dating a narcissist, one must learn to find their voice and rediscover their sense of self. Here are three tips for moving on once you’re on the other side of dating a narcissistic person.
Focus on Personal Healing
After leaving a narcissistic relationship, Townsend said that regaining one’s identity involves focusing on personal healing.
“The most important advice I’d give is to practice gentleness and graciousness with yourself,” Townsend said. “Your healing journey involves re-establishing personal boundaries, honoring your emotions and taking small steps toward rediscovering your self-worth.”
Townsend encouraged cultivating self-compassion and reflecting on past experiences with gentleness. This allows for a deeper understanding of how the relationship affected your self-worth.
“Taking things one day at a time and finding beauty in daily moments will help you feel grounded,” Townsend said. “Prioritize basking in the love of self.”
Healing also means taking the time to process emotions slowly. You might lean on therapy or support systems to manage emotional overwhelm and rebuild your confidence. Therapy can be instrumental in processing emotions and recognizing patterns of narcissistic behavior.
Rebuilding Self-Awareness
Townsend explained that it’s important to embark on a journey of self-discovery. Reclaiming one’s sense of self may involve rediscovering hobbies, goals and positive affirmations that reinforce personal value.
Practice patience and gentleness as you reconnect with your joys, hobbies, friends and dreams. Show yourself graciousness as you forgive yourself for not recognizing the signs and advocating for yourself earlier.
Setting Healthy Boundaries
Boundary-setting is essential in creating a safe space for your feelings and needs. It’s also crucial to build a supportive network of friends. Also, find a therapist who will provide validation and emotional support.
“To establish emotional independence, you must understand that you are not responsible for another person’s behavior,” Townsend said. “This realization allows you to shift toward personal growth and self-care, both mentally and physically.”
To develop healthy boundaries, Townsend said that a woman must first recognize areas where she has been overly accommodating or has felt obligated to please others.
“By challenging beliefs like, ‘I must always say yes to be loved,’ she can empower herself to assert her needs without guilt,” she added.
Identifying underlying emotions, such as fear of rejection or loneliness, is key to understanding why you struggle with setting boundaries. This will also improve your attachment style. Don’t be ashamed to practice setting boundaries by role playing difficult conversations and using boundary-setting phrases. This will help build your confidence.
“By developing a stronger sense of self, a woman can build emotional connection with others while honoring her needs,” Townsend said. “When a woman understands the impact of healthy boundaries on her mental and emotional well-being, it reinforces their importance in all relationships.”