Social media has made some of the most private people among us be more transparent, sometimes choosing to reveal our innermost secrets to our feeds. We share our fears, our accomplishments, our losses and our moments of joy without hesitation. On one hand, it has been a great platform to bring awareness to many issues; on the other hand, it has been detrimental to individuals’ mental health and relationships.

Everything isn’t meant to be shared with everyone. Your intentions matter when you share things — are you speaking your truths and, as a result, both the good and the bad are displayed? Are you attempting to educate or help someone with your truths and are you trying to keep them from making your mistakes? Is your need to share fueled by the need to embarrass someone, or are you simply ‘stunting on your haters’? These things matter when deciding what to share.

The Impulse to Share

Because we overshare so much on social media, we lose our sense of reality. We feel that in order to make a moment real in our real lives, we have to share it online. And that is simply not true. It is okay to be private. It is okay to refrain from posting a personal detail. Your business, especially in your relationships, isn’t social media’s business.

What Results Are You Looking For? 

Intentions are everything. When you vent, are you looking for sympathy or to have people support your stance? Or are you wanting everyone to know your side? Are you trying to embarrass an individual? What exactly is the point of broadcasting your thoughts on social media? If you’re looking for validation from your feed, you have already lost your greatest power: knowledge of yourself. You can’t truly be the greatest version of yourself if you lose who you are by relying so heavily on the opinions of others. You do not need validation from anyone. As long as you are standing on your truth, it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks.

Venting About Relationships

If your partner and you had a disagreement, deal with it between you two. An audience is not needed. It complicates the decision-making process on your end. You place too much importance on the opinions of those with no true interest in your relationship, and this affects the relationship adversely. Outside of collecting opinions that don’t matter, if you are not breaking up or have not broken up yet, are you willing to deal with the scrutiny of “staying” after you vented? Also, while being quiet about toxicity can continue the cycle, a more effective approach would be to tell a loved one and/or call authorities if needed.

Restoring Your Peace

Constantly running to social media to tell everyone your business can cost you greatly. You become dependent on the opinions and validation of others, while losing your sense of self and intuition. You lose your peace. Do you think the audience cares that you were wronged? Chances are they don’t. If you need to get it off your chest, discuss it with the person who offended you, a therapist or, at the very least, a close friend. Leave it off of social media.