There’s nothing wrong in wanting to take things to the next level in the bedroom. And if you’ve been searching for a new way to do that, you may have already stumbled across BDSM.
BDSM is a sexual practice that involves bondage, discipline, dominance and submission. It allows participants to experience intense sensations, and even pain, so exploring the activity safely is of the utmost importance.
In BDSM there are usually three roles: the dominants, submissives, and switches.
The dominants are usually the ones who find pleasure in inflicting pain, whether physical or emotional; while the submissives are the ones who enjoy being inflicted upon. Switches feel comfortable in either role.
Some may naturally be drawn to BDSM because it explores one’s perception of control.
While others may view it as a novelty to enhance their sex life or romantic connection. Whether you’re on either end of the spectrum, BDSM actually sparks a surge in hormone receptors – like dopamine, serotonin, and other hormones that enhance happy emotion.
But the most important thing to focus when it comes to BDSM, is practicing it safely.
Consent and open communication should be at the forefront. In an interview with HelloGiggles, sexologist Rebecca Alvarez Story explains “It is important to understand what you like and don’t like so BDSM can be a gratifying experience.” It is important that those who are thinking of participating, do their research and discover what activities they’d like to engage in with their partner.
There are even resources that allow you to interact with other BDSM participants in the realm to gain more education such as kink workshops and conferences.
Once both you and your partner have done your due diligence and research, sit down to have a conversation about each of your boundaries and limitations. Establishing a safe word is pivotal when participating in BDSM. This allows you both to agree upon a word that, when said, halts all activity and ensures a feeling of safety.
Remember, “it’s all about doing what feels good for you and your partner," Alvarez Story explains, “BDSM is a judgment-free practice that provides a safe way to communicate about and act out your fantasies and desires. It doesn’t require you to engage in extreme sexual activities, even small acts can bring more play into your relationships and heighten sensation and satisfaction.”