If you’re actively online to any degree, you’ve probably seen the term twink death. Used to describe the progression of a male’s appearance from youthful to mature, it has resurfaced in popularity during the global Dune: Part Two press tour, as actor Timothee Chalamet has undergone scrutiny for seemingly evolving out of his “twinkhood.” With his once razor-sharp jawline and gaunt cheeks filling in, many are mourning the version of Chalamet they once loved and objectified. 

As the conversation takes over TikTok, it’s also sparking a secondary discussion on social media’s influence on body image, body dysmorphia, and most importantly, the discrepancy between its impact on men vs women. How does the twink death phenomenon compare to that of what women have endured for decades, from print media to television to Instagram, and more particularly, Black women? Let’s dive in.

What Does Twink Death Mean?

According to Urban Dictionary, twink death is defined as when a man who was previously described as a twink (a young, attractive, boyish-looking, slender man) gradually ages and becomes a puffier, older and less attractive of himself. 

While twink and twink death are both terms that stem from the queer community and were originally used to describe gay men, they’ve taken life beyond it, being used to reference any celebrity men that to some degree fit the profile, whether or not they’ve publicly identified as LGBTQ+. A male celebrity who has become a public figurehead for the twink death journey is Leonardo DiCaprio, who we’ve watched evolve physically from the early 90s to now.

The Problem With Twink Death

Here’s the issue with twink death: beyond it unfairly categorizing humans based on physical matters they can’t control, it also has a proximity to fatness. While it’s an overtly ageist take, it also tends to subject men who have gained weight in their face, masking borderline fatphobic commentary under their guise of a “twink death.”

Sure, they’ve got more testosterone pumping through their veins and a presumably few more hairs on their chest. But ultimately, the focus is that they’ve gotten a bit pudgier, leaving them “less desirable” and more subject to criticism. Many are counteracting the “twink death” trend by replacing it with “dilf birth,” claiming that these men evolve into a new kind of hot as they age out of their adolescence. However, many of the examples given are men like Pedro Pascal, Jerrod Carmichael and Ricky Martin, all of whom remained conventionally slender.

Women Undergo The Same Criticsm

As the term circulates more and more, many are calling it out for being problematic. However, as a term that exclusively applies to men, it’s interesting to witness the fragility of male ego and how quickly we can jump to call out something when they’re forced to survive similar scrutiny women have undergone relentlessly. It feels abrasive to categorize men in such a way, but is it that much different than the language thrown around about women?

From corsets practically folding women’s ribs in half to undergoing life-threatening BBL surgeries, women have gone through great lengths due to being defined by the value of their physical appearance. The less conventionally attractive and vibrantly youthful, the more subject to scrutiny and ultimately, discarding. We’re sold age-freezing alternatives like Botox and fillers from the wee hours of our adolescence. Once a woman ages out of her fertile years, she’s labeled as geriatric. Being categorized relative to what you look like is not a foreign concept to us, especially pertaining to age.

Beyond that, Black women in particular, are subject to an even more intense amount of physical scrutiny. Living in a world built around Eurocentric beauty standards as the embodiment of the opposite can lead to internalized insecurities and issues like body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), which are found at high rates within the Black community. Aside from media-driven standards, it’s even common that close family members give their unsolicited opinions on their bodies, from “You need some more meat on your bones,” to “That baby is getting big, what are you feeding her?”

Let People Be

The bottom line is this: there is no shaming more tolerable than the other. We’re not celebrating the takedown of men; there’s room for neither to exist. This is simply an invitation to confront why we’ve let it get this far in the first place, for either party. As we rally around Timothee Chalamet and fight for the demise of twink death entirely, let’s make sure to pay just as close attention to the women around us and celebrate the miracle of aging rather than using it to tear each other down.