Caregiving is a demanding role that requires immense devotion and compassion. As caregivers attend to the needs of others, it can take its toll on them. The mental strain on caregivers is real, stemming from the unrelenting demands of providing care to others. They often struggle to balance personal and professional responsibilities, which can manifest as feelings of guilt or burnout. The weight of witnessing the struggles and suffering of those they care for adds an emotional burden that further contributes to mental strain.
“Burnout does not develop overnight and cannot be solved with a short-term solution,” explained Kaela Farrise, LMFT. “It requires a consistent care practice for oneself, including sufficient rest and boundary setting that keeps us mostly in our window of capacity,”
Farrise is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, speaker, and researcher. She founded Therapy While Black, an organization dedicated to eliminating mental health stigma in the Black community. She strives to create safer and culturally affirming mental health spaces that center the fullness of Black humanity. When Farrise is not talking about boundaries, trauma, and mental health, she sees virtual therapy clients throughout California. Farrise spoke with 21Ninety about how to unwind as a caregiver and manage burnout.
Managing Burnout as a Caregiver
The constant responsibility and emotional strain can lead to burnout if not addressed. Burnout among caregivers is a tangible risk due to constant demands. Juggling caregiving responsibilities without breaks or support can lead to exhaustion and emotional strain.
“Taking breaks as you can, caring for your basic physical and mental needs, such as sleeping, eating, etc., and finding support spaces can be helpful. Caregivers often experience symptoms of anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges. These challenges don’t mean there is anything wrong with them,” Farrise said.
She suggests recognizing signs that you are being negatively impacted in a way that may need additional support—for example, changes in behavior, motivation, appetite, and ability to sleep. Also, increased irritability or tearfulness and struggling to do things that are typically easy are a few signs to be wary of, among others,” she continued.
Farrise understands that sometimes it’s hard to ask for or accept help, even if you have a support system, but it’s crucial.
Another way to manage burnout is by setting boundaries. Farrise developed a five-part boundary-setting framework to help individuals with boundary setting.
“First, acknowledge what is being said or done that you need to change. Next, name the feeling. Then, tell people when the feeling is coming up. Afterward, I let them know what I’m going to do. Finally, offer some alternatives,” she shared.
Unwind as a Caregiver with These Techniques
Finding simple ways to unwind is imperative. Implementing strategies to manage stress is essential for caregivers to maintain their well-being. By proactively incorporating different relaxation techniques, caregivers can successfully find balance and unwind.
“Different techniques work for people, like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery meditations, and more. It doesn’t have to be long or complex. One minute is a great goal. It could be as simple as sitting an extra minute in your car listening to a favorite song before going inside,” Farrise recommends.
Unfortunately, caregivers often feel guilty when considering taking time for themselves. The constant demands of caregiving may create a sense of obligation to prioritize others over personal needs. Nonetheless, acknowledging that self-care is not selfish but crucial for overall well-being is essential.
“Guilt is huge in the lives of caregivers! I often have clients write a kind reminder on a Post-it and place it somewhere visible. This can be things like ‘I also deserve to be cared for’ or ‘I still deserve joy.'” Remembering that we must be well to provide the support others require is helpful for some folks,” she explained.
Farrise advised that caregivers should always look for small moments of joy. It doesn’t have to take a long time or be much work. For instance, listening to a favorite song, having a favorite snack, or spending a minute in the sunshine can be small ways we claim a moment of joy.