Going through a romantic breakup can be emotionally exhausting. It’s a time when you need a support system and, more than anything, the love of your friends. However, when your friend is also friends with your ex, the situation can be murky. Trying to navigate life and friendships after one chapter in a romantic union has closed is mind-boggling, to say the least. Should you break up with your mutual friends after it’s all said and done? It depends.

Different Factors Can Contribute to Your Decision

Every situation is unique, and the decision to break up with a friend after a romantic split depends on a few factors. That includes the nature of the relationship with the friend, the level of closeness, and why the breakup happened. When deciding whether or not you need to cut ties, consider the nature of the friendship first. If the friendship was solely based on the relationship with your ex-partner, it might be necessary to end things. Situations can get awkward fast otherwise. However, if you had a genuine bond with the friend and the relationship was independent of your ex-partner, the relationship might be worth preserving.

Photo by Jovaughn Stephens

Are They Picking Sides?

Depending on what your relationship with your ex was like, people often get caught up in the mix. For example, if you are married and are going through a divorce, a select group of your friends may choose to take your ex’s side because they are against divorce. If your ex was abusive in this scenario, it makes sense to establish boundaries with people who are not supportive of you leaving a toxic situation. Many factors play into relationship breakdowns, and it is important to evaluate your unique situation against the bigger scheme of things. Essentially, choose your battles.

Certain Situation Require a Complete Cut Off

If your friend is still in contact with your ex-partner and shares personal information about you, even when you have asked them not to, it might be necessary to end the friendship. It may be the best way to protect your privacy and mental health. Additionally, if the friend is constantly trying to fix the relationship your ex-partner or undermining your healing process, it might be necessary to break up with them. The worst scenario is if they know everything you went through and are trying to gaslight you or minimize your point of view. Ending the relationship may be best because those situations often erode trust over time.

Breaking up with a friend can be difficult, but it’s important to prioritize your emotional well-being. If the friendship is causing you more harm than good, take a step back. However, before making any decisions, it’s important to communicate your feelings with the friend, if it is healthy for you to do so.