They say best friends are forever, but what about boyfriends? Maybe not so much. It’s a uniquely uncomfortable situation when your BFF starts dating someone you can’t stand. You want to be a part of your best friend’s life, but it’s hard now that this person is always with her. So what do you do if you hate your best friend’s partner?
Maybe you find their partner annoying. Perhaps, it’s something more serious and you see some really big red flags worth addressing. Don’t get discouraged! This does not mean the end of your friendship or that you and your bestie can’t grow and evolve through this new chapter.
Initiate a Conversation
Of course, you want to save and preserve your friendship. After all, it’s your best friend. Now that you find yourself in a somewhat sticky situation where you dislike your BFF’s partner, start with having a judgment-free but honest conversation. It’s important to talk it out and work through it.
Gauge how open your friend is to feedback. You know your best friend well. Would they appreciate the cold hard facts or would they need the truth with a little sugar on top? Assess how receptive your friend is to knowing your thoughts on her new partner. Share the truth, even if it’s hard, in a way that your friend will receive.
Establish Boundaries
OK, so you hate your best friend’s partner – like a lot. Now that you know this and you have spoken with your bestie about it in some capacity, establish boundaries for yourself.
How often can you handle seeing this person? What spaces and situations are off limits? How can you respectfully remove yourself from scenarios where you prefer to not be around your BFF’s partner? These boundaries are to protect your own sanity and to protect your relationship with your best friend.
Pursue One-on-One Time
One-on-one time with your best friend is always a good time. Once she has begun dating a new and not so likable person, avoid scenarios where you are the third wheel. Instead, pursue solo time with just you and your bestie. This is a great way for the two of you to stay connected as she progresses in this new relationship.
Engage With Buffer Activities
When you do have to spend time with your best friend’s partner, plan ahead to have fun, buffer activities. Buffer activities might include a game night, a trip to the local fair or barcode, or going to see a new movie.
The idea is to avoid one-on-one time with your bestie’s partner as much as possible. Having an activity-focused hang reduces the chances of deeper and longer conversations.
Practice Mindfulness
Last, but certainly not least, when you feel like you are going to lose it, take some time to check in with yourself. If your best friend’s new beau irritates you, take a moment. Step outside or go to another room. Focus on your breathing and the present moment.
Hopefully, your dislike for your best friend’s partner will subside with mindful practices. Don’t lose your cool over an annoying and, hopefully, temporary addition to your life.