Once a month, those with vaginas go through the wringer. Following the energy burst of your follicular phase, the feral desire of your ovulation phase, and the debilitating PMS of your luteal phase, here comes menstrual. Not only are your emotions all over the place, but you’re fighting through symptoms, like nausea, cramps, back pain, sore breasts and more. The last thing you need is to have to hold your partner’s hand through it.
In many heterosexual dynamics, a woman’s partner is clueless about her period. She typically has to tip-toe around his disgust or feel gaslit about the very harsh reality of her symptoms. However, it’s time to change the narrative. For better support during your time of the month, here’s what your partner should know about your period.
Your Cycle Phases
This may seem obvious, but it’s unfortunately lost on most men. They know that once a month there’s bleeding, and that’s the extent of it. By being educated about all four phases of your cycle, they can better support you all month long. Offer resource material or take some time to explain everything from the uterine lining shed that causes your bleeding to the egg release that occurs during ovulation. Explain thoroughly the contractions that cause cramps, and go into detail about they feel like.
Familiarize them with the actual science and involve them in what you do to survive each phase. This means taking them aware of what foods and supplements best support you and your fluctuating energy levels throughout the month. They may even begin to notice what phase you’re in week by week and better support you by meeting you where your energy levels are.
How To Be Supportive
While everyone has their preference of how to be supported on their periods, there are some common gestures that go a long way. It’s crucial to build a warm language around you. Check in regularly with how your mind, body and spirit are doing.
Keep the home warmer, dimmer and less noise-polluted. Be thoughtful by brewing an extra cup of tea in the morning. Make an effort to keep your shared space tidy, while checking off a few of your chores. Beyond all the acts of service, the best way to be a good partner is to listen. This means taking you seriously when you speak of your pain, not minimizing your emotions just because you’re menstruating and remaining kind and gentle.
What Not To Do
When it comes to what your partner should know about your period, it’s most certainly what not to do. Rather than avoiding physical touch by all means, it’s important the man in your life reminds you of your beauty and desirability. In fact, if you’re both into it, many couples practice intimacy during the menstrual cycle.
Though taboo, it can provide a major relief for cramps and be just as enjoyable as any other kind of sex. If you’re both in the mood, choreography and positioning is key. It’s also crucial you be taken seriously rather than downplayed or labeled irrational.