Knowing when to walk away after infidelity is not an easy process. It may cause a whirlwind of emotions including confusion, betrayal and guilt. Read on to find out the best way to identify common themes with infidelity, and when to fix or end the relationship.

Meet Shamaree Brissett

Shamaree Brissett is a marriage and family therapist turned intimacy coach and relationship expert. She specializes in empowering women to be fully uninhibited and fulfilled in their intimate and sexual relationships. Brissett believes that everyone deserves genuine confidence, relationship satisfaction and unlimited orgasms.

She has been providing therapy services for nearly a decade. She started Shamaree L.A.B. LLC in 2021, in order to expand her reach as a provider. At Shamaree L.A.B., she combines reliable support, evidence-based knowledge and experience along with accountability to help you obtain all that you deserve in relationships. As a sexual assault survivor, a modern Black woman and a therapist she combines personal and professional experience to best serve her clients.

Some of the advice that Brissett has to give is centered on knowing the signs, acting beforehand and knowing when to remain in the relationship.

The Sign For Walking Away After Infidelity

Brissett advises that forgiveness has a lot to do with whether or not to return to a relationship.

“The number one sign you may need to walk away after experiencing infidelity is that you’re unable or simply unwilling to forgive,” she said. “For example, this might look like constantly using it as leverage to get whatever you want in the relationship, constantly bring it up whenever there is an issue, or use it as an excuse for you to behave poorly in the future.”

For Brissett, a lack of remorse and lack of commitment to making adjustments will indicate if things are unlikely to get better.

Choosing To Remain

There is also something to be said about choosing to remain in a relationship after infidelity. Many question what circumstances are safe to actually remain in a relationship after a partner has cheated.

“Staying together and being happy in a relationship is possible after betrayal,” Brissett said. “But, to successfully navigate infidelity, you have to say goodbye to the relationship as you knew it. It wasn’t working anyway if infidelity occurred. It’s hard to imagine you would want to be with the exact same version of the person who hurt you.”

The trick to making it work is to not attach to what the relationship once was. Brissett also recommends making space to feel all the emotions that come with grieving and loss. 

“As you mourn the loss of that relationship, expect to experience all the emotions that accompany grief,” she said. “Then, you both have to actively work towards rebuilding not only the trust but also the relationship. You get to create new boundaries and new ways to connect. You will rebuild in a way that works and feels safe for everyone.” says Brissett.

Don’t be intimidated if this sounds like a challenge, it truly is. Brissett believes that the best way to adjust to this challenge is to simply ask for help.

“Working through infidelity is difficult, most people don’t navigate successfully without getting professional help,” she said. “Seek individual as well as relationship therapy services. A professional can help you process your emotions, manage conflict, and rebuild in a healthy way.”