Regardless of if you’re in a relationship or are single mother, the motherhood journey is a rewarding experience with many twists and turns.
A mother does not have to be a biological parent. Instead, a mother figure could be an aunt, cousin, family friend and other close companions. The moment when a person commits to nurturing and caring for another human is impactful in more ways than one. Both lives are changed with an intimate bond that is hard to duplicate with anyone else.
Motherhood is exciting, but nerve-racking. The experience has happy, frustrating and confusing moments. There is also times of guilt and pride. It is scary, yet purposeful era in a person’s life. Mothers wear it as a badge of honor because it is simply not easy. For single mothers, there is even more pressure and responsibility.
21Ninety spoke with three young, single mothers, Gabrielle Smith, Alise Phillips and Briana Conwell, about their experience, the lessons they learned and what they want other single mothers to know.
Gabrielle Smith, 24
21NINETY: What has being a single mother taught you about yourself?
GABRIELLE SMITH: It’s okay to realize you’re growing up with each other. You have to balance the two because you are raising a child. With my son, I have to prioritize his needs. He’s in baseball now, so money is an investment. I invest in him first; then, I invest in myself. I do it by season. After baseball is over for the summer and spring, fall and winter is my time to invest in myself.
21N: What is one lesson you’ve learned on your motherhood journey that comforts you on those harder days?
GS: It’s okay to breathe and take time for yourself. Being a parent is 24 hours, and it will never stop. I learned how to appreciate alone time and realized I was not hurting my son or myself by doing that. You have to put yourself first. Your kid relies on you. If you’re not together, then your kid isn’t. It’s okay to take mommy time.
21N: What words of encouragement would you want to give to other single mothers who are trying their best?
GS: Know that the world has not ended. Life has just changed for you, and you have to adapt. Keep going with your passions. You have to learn how to balance prioritizing your passions with your kid.
Alise Phillips, 25
21NINETY: What has being a single mother taught you about yourself?
ALISE PHILLIPS: It has taught me how to be strong-minded and patient. You have to sometimes check yourself. When I get overwhelmed, I step back and remind myself that my daughter is only three. The biggest thing being a single mom taught me is patience because I never had that before.
21N: What is one lesson you’ve learned on your motherhood journey that comforts you on those harder days?
AP: Knowing that I’m doing my part as a mom. The compliments I get about my daughter’s behavior and manners let me know that I’m stepping in the right direction of parenting and guiding her through life.
21N: What words of encouragement would you want to give to other single mothers who are trying their best?
AP: You have to take it day by day. It will get overwhelming and frustrating, and you will feel like you only have yourself. But, look at the rewarding side of being a parent – them talking, eating, potty trained [and] showing their personality. You have to look at the small things to enjoy when you have those frustrating days.
Briana Conwell, 24
21NINETY: What has being a single mother taught you about yourself?
BRIANA CONWELL: My happiness directly impacts how I show up as a parent. Prioritizing my well-being isn’t selfish. It’s essential for being the best mom I can be. That means saying goodbye to relationships that don’t uplift me and embracing every moment with my daughter. I learned to set healthy boundaries to ensure both her and my happiness and safety.
21N: What is one lesson you’ve learned on your motherhood journey that comforts you on those harder days?
BC: It’s perfectly okay not to have all the answers. Every day is a new opportunity to learn and grow as a parent and person. Taking time for myself doesn’t detract from my role as a mom. It enhances it by allowing me to recharge and show up even more fully for my little one.
21N: What words of encouragement would you want to give to other single mothers who are trying their best?
BC: To all the single moms out there who might be feeling the weight of the world on their shoulders, I see you, and you’re doing an amazing job. Remember to give yourself grace. This journey isn’t about perfection; it’s about love and resilience. Your worth as a parent isn’t defined by your relationship status. Take care of yourself. When you do, you can better show up for your kid with all the love and energy they deserve. You’ve got this!
This article has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.