Small talk is not everyone’s cup of tea. Perhaps, you avoid small talk at all costs and subtly put in your earbuds and avoid eye contact in social situations to tune out the noise. While the intention is kind, small talk can fall flat yet, it can be hard to think of good conversation starters.

You might be the person who hates making small talk in social situations, so you stick with your crew and avoid conversations with new people. In work situations, you may feel uncomfortable networking or attending work happy hours. 

Getting to Deeper Dialogue: 5 Conversation Starters

Whether you’re meeting your partner’s family for the first time, attempting to connect with coworkers after hours, or putting yourself out there to make new friends, deeper dialogue is possible.

Think about how you can be a better conversationalist over a warm meal. Consider conversation starters about the present day versus big picture questions about the future.

What Did You Learn Today?

Society is constantly bombarded with the latest news and trends at the touch of their fingertips. From global disasters to celebrity breakups, or even life hacks for everyday tasks, there’s always something new to discover. A great way to spark a conversation around the dinner table is by asking what the person you’re speaking with learned today.

This simple question can open the door to unexpected insights. You might be surprised by what someone found interesting or learned throughout their day.

What Was a Small Win or Victory for the Day?

Life is full of moments worth celebrating, though not every day brings a big announcement like an engagement, a promotion, or a new car. While these milestones are worth celebrating, it’s easy to overlook the smaller victories that often go unnoticed.

Asking someone about their small wins for the day is a great way to foster a genuine connection. It doesn’t have to be anything major. Maybe they hit a new goal at the gym, logged off from work on time, or spent extra time with their kids. These little wins are meaningful, and this question encourages us to celebrate the everyday moments that often go unappreciated.

What Was a Low Point in Your Day?

If someone seems stressed or overwhelmed, a thoughtful conversation starter might be to ask about the low points of their day. Life isn’t always perfect, and acknowledging the difficult moments can create a space for empathy and understanding. By showing genuine interest in their challenges, you offer them the chance to share what may be weighing on their mind. This will also strengthen your connection in the process.

What Was Something That Bothered You Today?

Another insightful question to ask is, “What bothered you today?”

Whether it’s traffic, a partner’s snoring, or something as frustrating as a flat tire, everyone encounters annoyances. This question allows the other person to vent about the small frustrations they’ve faced. This can bring a shared sense of humanity to the conversation.

What Was Something That Took You by Surprise Today?

If you want to move beyond small talk, try asking, “What took you by surprise today?”

This question encourages more thoughtful responses, as surprises often lead to more detailed stories. Whether it’s a news headline, a work achievement, or something unexpected their child did at school, this question invites deeper reflection. It also allows you to connect with the other person on a more personal level, helping you both move past the surface of typical conversation.