Out of all the things trending in the wellness space, it seems like self improvement tops the list. This includes punchy challenges like 75 hard, 6-month glow up plans, and social media videos with titles, like “How to Become Unrecognizable In 3 Months.”
However, as interesting rebrands and personal development is, there reaches a breaking point. It’s healthy to have a desire to grow and evolve as a woman, but when does it become borderline unhealthy?
“As human and spiritual beings, we have the desire to evolve and experience new things, which is great. But, the addiction to the constant evolution without self appreciation can be really damaging,” brand consultant Leah Mieso told 21Ninety.
Is There Such a Thing as Too Much Self-Improvement?
As a brand consultant and content creator, Miseo’s most popular TikTok video is one she created detailing being addicted to the process of “becoming.”
“Don’t become so addicted to the process of becoming that you lose sight of how many times you’ve already arrived,” she said in the video.
Her post, which has over 1 million views, resonates with so many people today. Many users flooded the comments in agreement, describing the act of “fixing” yourself to be “addictive.”
“Fixing yourself can be very addictive. It sometimes feels like the ball is constantly moving. Self acceptance is the new development challenge,” one user commented. “I hate that every time I reach a milestone my body craves the next and forgets how hard it took for me to get here.,” another person’s comment read.
Although self improvement is a viable skill, the practice can easily become your biggest roadblock.
Can Self-Improvement Be an Addiction?
Miseo’s sentiment garnered so much attention because, to many, it’s true. People, especially Black women, should prioritize personal development. New fitness practices, self-care routines and learning different skills helps you grow as a person and create a more fulfilling life.
However, humans aren’t meant to live in a state of constant transformation. If you’re wondering if you’re addicted to self improvement, think about how you feel. Those who are never satisfied with their progress, feel guilty for resting, or compare their lives to others probably fit the bill.
Why Do I Feel the Constant Need To Improve Myself?
The constant need for self development makes sense in this society. Factors, like social media and media messaging, sell people the idea that their current self isn’t good enough. Even specific terms like “glow up,” “leveling up,” and “becoming her” can easily manifest into self criticism.
“From 25 to 30 years old, I struggled with so much anxiety,” Miseo explained. ‘”I always felt like I was behind, wasn’t doing enough, and could be doing more.”
In particular, social media apps like TikTok and Instagram have capitalized and monetized off of wellness. Sometimes, it feels like every scroll on an app is aggressively hinting that you need a new product, a new job, a new body, or even a new life better than the one you have right now.
“Were always feeling like we could do more,” Miseo continued. “Part of that comes from our idea that time is working against us. People have this idea that time is running out.”
How to Balance the Need for Self Improvement
If you’re wondering how to monitor your desire for self development while keeping your ambition, the key is balance. Balance comes in many forms, from journaling a reflection of your thoughts to just slowing down.
“I’ve come to realize that life is so much more enjoyable when you really just slow down,” Miseo said. “You get to appreciate the things that you’ve done. You get to appreciate the experiences that you’ve created.”
For example, if creating a vision board for each new year feels more like a task than inspiration, scratch it. Instead, create smaller, more attainable goals for the month, or even the week ahead. While having larger, more existential aspirations are admirable, short term aspirations make your goals feel closer to you.
Additionally, the brand consultant stressed the importance of realizing rest and relaxation is a requirement in self development, not an option. If you’re always chasing the next thing, you rarely leave time to be present. Sometimes, sitting back and enjoying the moment can breed a level of innate creativity and inspiration.