When in partnership, one’s desire is to be loved unconditionally. However, there are varying levels, and loving while being loved completely can be challenging. If you’re willing to risk heartbreak while being the most sacrificial lover you can be, you can reach a point of agape love, known as the highest form of love.
Agape love is a Greek term translated as “selfless,” “unconditional,” or “sacrificial” love. It can be defined by a deep sense of care and commitment to others, regardless of their actions. Unlike romantic or familial love, which can be conditional and wavering, agape is unconditional and often reflects a choice to love someone, even when it’s difficult. Here’s everything to know about agape love, from what it is to how you can achieve it in your relationship.
What is Agape Love?
Agape love is one that mirrors the concept of the divine love often associated with Christianity, focused on acts of service and genuine care for the other person. Whether you’re relating to a family member, lover, or friend, here are some common characteristics of agape love:
- Unconditional: Agape doesn’t depend on how the other person behaves. It’s not based on receiving something in return, but rather on giving freely. It means loving someone for who they are, without expecting perfection or change.
- Selflessness: It is putting the other person’s needs above your own without expecting something back. Agape love often involves sacrifice, where you choose to give of yourself in a way that may not always benefit you.
- Patience & Long-Suffering: Agape love is patient and enduring. It doesn’t rush to judgment or give up when things get tough. Instead, it continues to show care and concern, even in difficult times.
- Forgiveness: It is rooted in the ability to forgive. Agape doesn’t hold grudges or keep score. It’s about giving second chances and showing compassion when others fall short.
- Commitment: Agape love doesn’t fade with challenges or change in circumstances. It’s enduring and steady, rooted in a deep commitment to the well-being of the other person.
Agape Love in a Relationship
It looks like choosing love and compassion amidst every kind of tribulation. From a financial crisis to personal loss, the equipped partner providing support chooses to act out of love and commitment, not obligation.
A selfless attitude is at the core of agape love. It’s not about “What can I get from this relationship?” but rather, “How can I give to this relationship?” Even when life gets difficult, you are driven by the desire to see the other person flourish. In a romantic relationship, agape love can be defined by:
- Consistent support: You stand by your partner, especially in tough times. Whether they are succeeding or struggling, you love them for who they are, not just for what they do.
- Self-sacrifice: You might prioritize your partner’s happiness, health, or well-being over your own, not because you’re obligated, but because your love for them compels you to do so.
- Forgiveness and understanding: When your partner makes mistakes or hurts you unintentionally, you choose to forgive and move forward instead of staying stagnant with resentment.
- Empathy and compassion: You show kindness and try to understand their feelings and needs, even when you may not always agree or understand. You aim to lift them up, especially when they’re feeling down.
- Non-judgmental acceptance: Agape love doesn’t demand that your partner change to meet your standards or expectations. It accepts them as they are, flaws and all, and still chooses to love them deeply.
- Being present: You invest emotionally in your partner’s happiness and growth, not just physically or romantically. This might mean listening intently, being patient, and working together to overcome struggles.
While it’s possible to achieve this kind of love in partnership, it’s important to consider giving this kind of love to someone to wants to give it to you, too.