Have you ever heard the saying that it is only you that is standing in the way of your success and happiness? One thing I’ve noticed about my younger, less mature self is that I had a tendency to get in my own way sometimes and halt progress.

Here is what I would tell my younger, less confident self:

1. YOU AREN’T LETTING YOURSELF FAIL

This is a demon that so many of us battle, the idea of failure. It can be incredibly easy to blame ourselves when we fail. The truth about failure is that it’s scary, but as cliché, as it sounds, success comes from our failures. We need to be willing to fall so we can pick ourselves back up.

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2. YOU ARE PRACTICING SELF-DOUBT

Self-doubt can be crippling. I’ve dealt with it off-and-on throughout my life, and it usually takes a good pep talk, or hey, even a rant session with my bestie and a bottle of wine to get my mind straight again. When instances of self-doubt strike, it’s important to remind ourselves why we’re pushing forward in the first place. Keeping a journal of what our goals and purposes are is good during times like these.

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3. YOU HAVE A LACK OF AMBITION

Sitting around waiting for other people to discover your awesomeness is a surefire way to get nothing accomplished. We need to be our own cheerleaders and initiators. It takes structure, planning and discipline to do great things, so don’t let lack of motivation keep you from doing your best every single day.

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4. YOU ARE NOT SEEKING FURTHER LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES 

I say this not to encourage everyone to go back to school and get their Master’s and Ph.D.’s (however if you did, kudos to you!). We have an entire lifetime’s worth of knowledge available for free at the click of a button: The Internet.

Want to learn a new skillset? Find an online course or certification. Want to learn a new language, fix a flat tire, and find a new dentist? Google it. We live in a day and age where you can literally learn anything thanks to the internet. Don’t waste access to free knowledge and the chance to teach yourself to be a pro in your field, or at the very least, add some new skills to your resume.

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5. YOU HAVE A LACK OF FOCUS

The hard truth might also be that you are not thinking “big picture.” When you don’t connect with your big WHY in life, it’s easy to lose sight of your goals, hopes, and dreams. Losing our focus and getting distracted can be a huge setback and cause us to take even longer to find success.

Knowing your end goals (or at least have a general idea) and coming up with a bit of a plan is crucial in reaching every goal you set out to achieve. Going into something blindly and without thought — whether it’s a new job, a lifestyle change, etc. — can cause you to waste a lot of valuable time. Take some time to figure out your thoughts and discover what you truly want in life. Then you can set a plan into motion. It’s important to take a step back, take some deep breaths and find ways to garner some encouragement.

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Do you feel there are any areas in your life where you might be standing in your own way?


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