I’m so delighted that Halle Bailey got to do pregnancy her own way by keeping it out of the public eye. With the help of some creative stylists, a dedicated inner circle and a good plan, she was able to keep her pregnancy private for the entire nine months. Honestly, if she hadn’t revealed her son Halo, we likely still wouldn’t know for sure. You don’t have to be famous to choose this secretive option for yourself. Here are a few of the benefits of having a private pregnancy.

No Answering Questions

When you announce that you’re expecting a child, people have all types of questions. It’s natural human curiosity about a truly miraculous event. Did you plan this pregnancy? Do you want a boy or a girl? How far along are you? Do you have a name picked out? How will you deliver the baby? Some of the questions you may not mind answering at all. They’re innocent and you don’t mind sharing. Others will feel a bit too invasive to discuss. If you keep your pregnancy private, the questions become fewer and you can determine with whom and how much you want to share.

No Performative Pregnancy

When author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie first became a mother, she told the world, after the birth of her child.

“I just feel like we live in an age when women are supposed to perform pregnancy,” Adichie said in a 2016 interview. “I went into hiding.”

Adichie is right. There are certain expectations for mothers that begin during pregnancy. You’re supposed to be excited about the life you’re growing in your body from the moment you find out you’re pregnant. You’re expected to engage in intense consumerism like buying cute baby clothes and the latest infant gadget. And if you have a gender reveal, you should be excited about whatever you’re having. The reality is, pregnancy can come with a lot of complex emotions. If you’d like the opportunity to sort through them alone, a private pregnancy might be for you.

No Negativity

Telling someone your pregnant, often leads them to share their own pregnancy and delivery journeys. With the maternal mortality rate being what it is, particularly for Black women, these stories aren’t always happy. In fact, many of them are traumatic. While it’s always good to be armed with information, hearing too many horror stories when you’re about to go through your own birthing journey just isn’t helpful. It might even negatively influence your own delivery. Pregnancy is the perfect opportunity to meditate on the positive so you can have the best outcome possible.

Focus On Your Feelings

Whether you come from a close knit community of family and friends or there’s a bit of dysfunction in your circle, those people will have plenty of feelings about the birth of a child. They might make predictions about what your pregnancy will be like, based on their own. All of this is not malicious. People have a tendency to talk too much when they’re excited. But managing the emotions and expectations of others is not what you’re supposed to be doing right now. You’re growing a human being. Take the time to focus on how you’re feeling physically and emotionally.

Keep the Moment Sacred

Only you and your baby have a full grasp of the beauty that’s taking place in your body. You can try to explain it to your partner and your people but your experience is unique to you and your child. It’s personal preference but some people want to go inward during these monumental moments. Instead of being pressured to go against your instincts and perform for others, trust your gut and do what you feel. This is the time to be selfish.