Intimacy is undeniably important in a relationship. The frequency at which couples engage in intimate activities can be a contention. But is daily intimacy a secret ingredient to a successful relationship, or does it carry its own pitfalls?
“Daily intimacy works as long as it is varied and doesn’t feel like a chore to perform,” licensed therapist Brittanni Young said.
According to Young, research shows that engaging in daily sexual activity has many positive outcomes for individuals and couples in long-term relationships.
“Some of these benefits include health and wellness, such as lowered blood pressure, better sleep, cardiovascular benefits, and reduced risk of prostate cancer, to name a few,” she added.
The Good and Bad of Daily Intimacy
The upside of daily intimacy in a relationship is undeniable. For instance, Young shared that daily sexual activity improves closeness and reduces stress for couples. She also noted that frequent sex could increase the libido if performed in a way that feels safe and consensual. When it comes to the bedroom, the routine can lead to heightened sexual satisfaction as partners become more attuned to each other’s desires, creating a satisfying sexual synergy.
Although multiple benefits come with daily intimacy, the drawbacks should also be acknowledged. The routine can quickly become monotonous, sapping the excitement from intimate moments. Physical fatigue is another concern, as daily life’s demands can leave both partners feeling drained. Young also added that when everyone isn’t on the same page of this expectation, it creates a lot of negative pressure.
“This can lend itself to performance anxiety and shut down natural sexual functions. I encourage my clients to avoid being goal-oriented during their intimacy, as this can take people out of their bodies and into their heads,” she said.
It’s all about finding what works for both partners and ensuring that the positive aspects of daily intimacy outweigh the potential pitfalls.
Communicating Your Needs
Handling daily intimacy in a relationship requires open communication and a shared understanding of each other’s needs. Regular check-ins to discuss desires, boundaries, and concerns can help maintain a healthy balance. It is essential to create an environment where both partners feel comfortable expressing their feelings and preferences without judgment.
“Couples can start by being honest with themselves about their expectations and needs and where they come from. Is it a perception that ‘happy’ couples need to have daily intimacy?” Young posed. “It’s possible that the motivator for that frequency is stemmed in intimacy myths or outdated information.”
Young advised that couples should figure out what their needs actually are.
“Emotional trust built in the foundation can open discussion pathways for expressing a need for an increase. Most everyone wants to have a nonjudgmental space held for them to share where they are coming from,” the therapist said.
She also revealed she doesn’t encourage her clients to avoid rejection because it will happen. Young does encourage reassuring rejection.
“So, for example, if one partner asks to have sex daily and the other person does not share the same expectations or needs, they can respond with, ‘I don’t feel the same way about daily sex as you do, and I can tell that this is important to you. Can you help me understand more about where you are coming from?'” Young said.
Asking questions is a form of “emotional intimacy” as it prompts the partner to delve into more vulnerable source material. Young learned that partners are more apt to meet you where you are when people open up.