Society has always glorified romantic relationships. Women are constantly asked when they plan to settle down and acquire a proper suitor for marriage. It seems directly attached to their worth and value. However, there’s a much longer-lasting relationship in every woman’s life that is overlooked, yet just as significant: her female friendships.
Your girlfriends are usually with you through every phase of life, from those hormonal preteen years to your life crisis. They provide a safe space to unravel and come back together, a symbiotic relationship of mirroring and acceptance. As tradition begins to get questioned and ultimately dismantled, more women are opting to center their friendships. They are even exploring the idea of sharing property as they age and raising their children communally.
Beyond how much having girlfriends can fuel you spiritually, evidence also suggests it can have a positive impact on your physical health.
The Science Behind Female Friendships
Scientific studies find evidence that people with strong platonic friendships live longer and enjoy better health as they age. In fact, those with strong social networks were found to have stronger immune responses to viruses. Loneliness is a crippling epidemic, and it can worsen the condition of your already fragile health.
Another study found that women with breast cancer who had a strong, supportive circle of friends lived many years longer. The Nurses’ Health Study from Harvard Medical School also proved that the more friends a woman has, the less likely she is to develop physical impairments.
Your long-lasting female friendships can also keep you young. No matter how much you age, your girlfriends will forever see you as 20-year-old you in their eyes. It reminds you of that youthful spirit the weight of life can sometimes dim. If you’re ever overstimulated by the frenzy of existence, one silly text from a girlfriend is all you need to reset.
How to Maintain Healthy Female Friendships in Adulthood
As women get older and their lives demand more from them, maintaining those very same female friendships can call for much more effort. Nurturing the health of your female friendships in adulthood requires intentionality, so here are some tips to bear in mind.
Schedule Check-Ins
If you and your besties are long-distance, schedule biweekly FaceTimes where you can rant and laugh and reconnect. Voice notes and memes throughout the week are their own special kind of intimacy, but it’s important to prioritize being face-to-face in real time.
Get To Know Their Love Language
Your friendships are just as much relationships as your partnerships. Knowing how to love your partner in accordance with their love language is just as valuable for your friends as well. If they love gift gifting or acts of service, make sure to show up for them in a way that fuels their spirit to strengthen your bond.
Keep It Casual
Growing up, there was nothing like laying on your friend’s couch and yapping away your stream of consciousness or simply scrolling in silence next to each other. Getting together for brunch and night out can be fun. However, it also can be exhausting and expensive.
Focus On Quality
This goes for time and relationships. Maintaining dozens of connections that don’t actually fuel your spirit isn’t as effective as a handful of genuine friendships that help you thrive. Similarly, make sure the time you spend with those real connections is quality, equipped with presence, honesty and mutual uplifting.
Plan Vacations Together
Even if it’s a weekend getaway, vacations with friends is both fun and healing. While it’s easy to make time for vacations with partners and families, some of the most memorable trips you’ll ever take is the one you take with your besties. There’s nothing in this life creating lifelong memories, coordinating outfits and living new experiences couldn’t fix.
Communicate Openly
If you know you’re in a season of life where you can’t show up as much as you’d like to for your friends, that’s simply reality and nobody should blame you. However, it’s important to communicate that with your friends so that they can understand, not ask for what you’re unable to give at the moment and show up for you if any support is needed.
Keep Making Friends
Nurture the sacred friendships already in your orbit and dare to introduce more. Human beings are multifaceted, and it’s important to maintain a variety of friends. You should have your gym friends, your mom friends, your childhood friends and new friends you’re making along the way. The friends you call on when you want to go out and let loose, and the friends you call on when you want to spend time in nature and decompress.
It’s important to never stop making friends as you get older, having around the people who’ve known every version of you keep you grounded and introducing people who only know the you of today to keep you accountable.