From a young age, mothers and mother figures shape how their children view the world. It is typical for the world to attribute choosing wrong partners to “daddy issues,” but mothers can also play a part in influencing dating choices. This influence of mothers on their children’s dating choices is a valid, yet rarely discussed phenomenon. Mothers play a critical role in shaping their children’s values and beliefs about relationships, which can greatly impact the type of people we choose to date.
The Standard
A mother’s relationship with her child can significantly influence the standard of what that child expects from a partner. Children often learn about love and relationships by observing their parents. If a mother models healthy behaviors, such as open communication and respect, the child is more likely to seek out similar traits in their future partner. However, children raised by narcissistic mothers may experience trauma that can manifest later in life.
Mirrored Experiences
A mother’s personal dating experiences can color the way their child approaches relationships. If a mother had negative experiences in relationships, such as being in an abusive or toxic relationship, their child may be more cautious in their own dating life. If a mother has experienced abuse and toxicity in relationships, their child may be more open to pursuing relationships that have a more optimistic view of love and commitment.
Motherly Opinion
Chalk it up to mother’s intuition, but a mother’s opinion of their child’s partner can greatly influence their child’s relationship. There is a belief that mothers have a sixth sense about people. People believe mothers can pick up on traits or behaviors in a partner that their child may not see. If a mother approves of their child’s partner, it can give their child the confidence they need to pursue the relationship wholeheartedly. When a mother disapproves of their child’s partner, it can eventually create some tension and conflict in the relationship.
Excessive Criticism
Sometimes, a mother’s impact on her child’s dating preferences can become overwhelming and cause tension. Excessive criticism from a mother can create high strain levels in the relationship. It is vital for mothers to provide their children with dating guidance. However, it is equally essential to establish healthy boundaries to preserve the relationship.