On your first date, nerves are par for the course. You’re curious if this person will like you or think you’re boring; every small detail can feel overwhelming. But if you’re careful with communicating, managing expectations, and preparing for any potentially awkward moments, these nerves will soon be a thing of the past! Never think you’re the only one confused on their first date. Many people lose their nerve on their first date, and I’m also one of those. I asked the best experts who give important tips, so you don’t ruin your first date.
Strategies for Managing Stress Throughout the Date
Getting a date is hard, and a first date can be even more intimidating. The anxiety and fear of rejection can be paralyzing, and that’s before you’ve even met the person in question! But if you’re meeting someone new, you must know how to navigate your nerves so they don’t get in the way. I will talk about the strategies I applied to manage first-date anxiety.
Be prepared
First dates are always nerve-racking, but the first date is especially so. You must figure out what to expect or how your date will act. You might be nervous about getting along with them or anxious about being judged on appearance by others (and then having to deal with those judgments). Also, you may feel like there’s no way you’ll ever find love again after losing someone so close in your life; maybe even a piece of yourself was lost forever when they died.
Here I would like to share some tips for preparing yourself for your first date:
● Dress for comfort instead of fashion—a comfortable pair of jeans and a casual shirt works just fine! If it’s not too cold out, wear layers under that outfit so that if things get warm later down memory lane during dinner time together (or after), at least one layer won’t be too heavy and uncomfortable for both parties involved.
Focus on what you need.
Once you feel more relaxed, I advise you to consider what you need from your date. Is it just dinner? Or do you want more than that? Do you want to see them again? If so, how can you make that happen?
Once you’ve figured out your goals for the date (and how they can be achieved), it’s time to focus on what YOU need from them! Are they being attentive enough? Do they seem interested in pursuing more than just casual sex? Are they making good eye contact throughout the conversation?
“Keep in mind what you are looking for in a partner. Do you want to meet someone for a casual fling, an open relationship, or to get married? It is best to be clear about what you are looking for in a partner so you will know when you find it!”
recommends Anna Hindell.
Focus on your partner, not yourself.
Take a deep breath and remind yourself why you’re there in person with this person. If they don’t seem to care about what’s going on in your life, they aren’t worth your time.
Be Honest With Yourself
If you’re nervous about the date, ask yourself if it’s because of it or something else. Have you considered this date for a while and are now getting nervous? Or other things have made your palms sweat and your stomach churn (like having to give an interview).
If it’s because of other things, try to focus on those instead of how excited or nervous you feel about being on a first date. It can help keep your mind off what might happen at dinner later tonight (which is often where anxiety lives).
Tips for Dealing With Anxiety On Your First Date
If you’re nervous about a first date, don’t worry! You’re going to be great. Here are some tips that I applied for dealing with anxiety on my first date:
Take the lead
The most important thing is that you’re relaxed and confident in yourself, so if they seem anxious, try smiling reassuringly at them and saying something like, “It’s going to be fine.” If they appear embarrassed or shy, tell them they don’t have anything to worry about–you know what it’s like when you’re nervous!
“You should pay attention to your gut about whether this is a person you could see yourself going out with a second time. So have healthy boundaries while letting them see the things about you that make you- you.”
writes Dr. Karen
Know that it’s normal to feel nervous.
It’s normal to be nervous on a first date, and it’s normal to have butterflies in your stomach. That doesn’t mean that you aren’t ready for this relationship–it just means that being nervous is part of being human!
Don’t overthink it–go with the flow.
It can cause you to feel even more anxious than usual because you’ve gone into overdrive trying to figure out what might happen if something goes wrong or how things should go down. Just relax and enjoy yourself for once! It’s OK if your stomach is in knots–you can do this! And if it helps, talk to someone who has been through it before (like a friend).
“Try not to think about what might happen on the following date or if there will even be one. Enjoy the present moment, and don’t rush into anything.”
said Kalley Hartman
On the first date, remember that it’s not about them; it’s about YOU.
You’re going into this with an open mind, so don’t let anyone else’s expectations get in the way of who YOU want to be when the two of you meet again!
Take care of yourself.
Eat something healthy before your date and drink plenty of water (to keep hydrated). Also, try walking around the block or going for a long run to burn off some energy before meeting your date.
How to Cope Afterward if You Feel Overwhelmed
Like everyone, I also felt overwhelmed after my first date, but I followed some tips. And here, I would like to share those tips to help you cope with anxiety after the first date.
Talk about it with someone you trust
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your anxiety, talking about it with someone else is OK. If a friend or family member understands how you feel and can help calm down, they’ll be able to help support you through the process of getting everything together.
Admit that you feel anxious
Don’t be afraid to admit that you feel anxious; everyone does! Everyone has different stress tolerance levels; some people might be more sensitive than others and need less time before getting ready for a new situation or job position. That doesn’t mean those who seem calmer than others aren’t experiencing similar feelings internally either — remember: Everyone gets nervous sometimes!
If I’ve learned anything from my experience dealing with anxiety over the past few years (and even before), it would be this: Don’t judge yourself based on how other people react around me.”
Keep yourself busy
You can distract yourself from your thoughts by doing something besides thinking about the date.
● Find an activity to help you relax and not think about the date.
● Pick something fun that won’t stress you out too much.
“Feeling a spark is bullshit. You set yourself up for failure if you expect to feel a burning fire after a first date. Sometimes that spark can be about infatuation, physical attraction, or Familiarity.”
recommends Сhristine Olsen
Conclusion
I always advise you to have a good strategy for dealing with your first date anxiety and stress. It is essential since it can help you feel more confident, relaxed, and focused. And it makes for some great conversation! If you’re having a tough time with anxiety after the first date, it’s not the end of the world. You can take care of yourself and get through it. If you don’t let your anxieties control you, they don’t have to ruin an otherwise great night out! After reading this article, I hope you can deal with stress after the first date.