The ‘Words of Affirmation’ love language people among us require a special type of love, one that is based on heart-felt, kind words. Encouraging your friends and their desires is something that most people stand by. Some examples are boosting their confidence when it’s their time to shine or leaving cute post-it notes around their place to remind them of their power. It’s all about expressing gratitude and admiration for the presence of someone you choose to keep by your side. But, what if there is more to it than repeating sweet words every now and again? Read on to learn how to love your Words of Affirmation friends.
Why You Should Learn Your Friends’ Love Languages
The Love Languages were coined by Dr. Gary Chapman who wrote the book and devised a quiz on the five different ways that individuals typically feel loved. Learning your friends’ love languages is a must if you want to build long-lasting, meaningful bonds. Love languages are indicative of how people feel most loved: most people have primary and secondary love language(s). In the case of your friends who are recipients of abundant words of affirmation, they’ll likely feel loved when you can articulate why you love them. Remember that it’s likely that how someone receives love is how they prefer to express it, although sometimes it differs.
Here are some ideas to keep the love and the words flowing in your friendship.
Ideas For Expressing Words of Affirmation
Complimenting your friend is sure to make them feel seen. Note that it isn’t just any old type of compliment that will keep their hearts satisfied, but personalized and relatable compliments. For instance, if you like the outfit they’re wearing saying “Your outfit looks cute!” is itself a cute attempt, but there are ways to dial it up. Finding a way to show that you listen and can connect with your friend is always a good idea. So perhaps the compliment could tap into something they mentioned earlier and instead be “Your outfit looks so cute. You made the right decision choosing this skirt over the other one, definitely trust your instinct more often!”
Surround them with affirming words even when you’re not around
Constantly affirming them through your own words might be draining, challenging, or not a love language expression you yourself are familiar with. In this case, it might be useful to make use of already existing affirming mantras and resources. Instead, create a joint Pinterest board of affirming quotes, send them podcasts related to positive and uplifting topics, or buy them a self-love deck filled with affirming words. Later, start a dialogue to discuss some of the mantras or affirming messages to be a part of the conversation too.
Give them a shout out
Get on your socials and share the love publicly. Your Words of Affirmation friend may really appreciate being publicly recognized in this way, and will see that your words aren’t empty. Think outside of the box and surprise them by celebrating their life achievements online as well as on their birthday.
Write them a letter or a long text
There is honestly nothing like an old-school letter. The Words of Affirmation love language relies on supportive, meaningful messages as a source of loving communication. Your words are everlasting in this sense. The sentimentality of this love language often results in them being incredibly nostalgic and they will re-read messages and re-listen to voice notes to rekindle a sense of sentimentality when needed. For this reason, create enough time to write or record without hurrying so that your words can be felt. Whatever you deliver will be cherished and form part of a capsule if you’re lucky.
It goes without saying that being genuine and using words sincerely, really does matter in this friendship. Try to use your own language rather than recycling clichés or phrases that aren’t true to your friendship bond. Write shamelessly in your hard-to-read handwriting, write how you speak, throw in some vulnerability, and let yourself feel safe in your creativity. It’s no pressure and no big deal if you feel your vocabulary isn’t vast enough. Your friend will appreciate your efforts however you choose to kindly use your words.
Lean into terms of endearment
Finally, what is a friendship without some endearing nicknames? Your words of affirmation friend will not protest if you go heavy on the terms of endearment. “Bestie”. “sweetie”, or anything else personal will make them feel close to you.