It’s true, starting a conversation with a potential love interest can be nerve-wracking. Whether it’s asking questions such as “Will they even like me?” or “Is this too corny?” we’ve all been there wondering what to actually say to someone we’re interested in. And though saying, “Hey, what’s up, it’s so and so” is the easiest way to go about starting up a conversation, chances are that we can do a little better when it comes to our “rizz” game. Particularly if this is someone that we’re really interested in.

Nine times out of 10, conversation starters are always along the lines of stating your name and asking how a person is; however, there are many other ways to engage a person of interest. Thought-provoking questions such as “I can’t help but notice your profile says you like pizza, what’s your favorite spot?” or questions like “What do you like to do in your free time?” are always good openers.

Though these questions can’t guarantee a response, asking open-ended questions can significantly help to make a conversation starter less and less awkward and show that you’re actually interested in getting to know someone. But whatever you do, try to avoid asking things like “What’s your favorite color?” or “How many siblings do you have?” These ones can definitely wait until a later date.

No matter how you decide to open up a conversation with someone you’ve matched with on Tinder, it’s important to note that compliments, asking thoughtful questions, and following their lead can lead to an engaging convo that’ll certainly get you another date.

Without further ado, below are a few tips and tricks when figuring out how to open up a conversation. Remember, it’s okay to not take it too seriously.

Really Get To Know Their Profile

When figuring out how to engage in a conversation, really take the time to read a profile thoroughly. Look for common interests, hobbies, or information you can use as conversation starters. This shows that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know a person and will certainly give you brownie points for securing a date.

Use a Friendly Greeting

Begin with a friendly and polite greeting. A simple “Hi” or “Hello” works while personalizing it by mentioning something from their profile, like, “Hi, I noticed you’re into hiking” or “Where’s your favorite hiking spot?”Avoid only stating your name by saying “Hey, it’s so and so.” This makes it hard for a conversation to ensue and can be a little awkward in terms of actually breaking the ice with someone.

Ask An Open-Ended Question

Open-ended questions encourage more extended and meaningful responses. Instead of asking yes/no questions, try questions like, “What do you enjoy doing in your free time?” or “Tell me about your favorite travel adventure.” We promise, no matter what the media tells you, actually caring is still sexy.

Sincerely Compliment

Compliments can be a great icebreaker and can definitely send a positive signal, but make sure they are genuine and not overly flattering. For example, “I love your smile in your photos” or “Your dog is adorable!”

Use Humor (if it suits you)

If you have a good sense of humor, using it in your opening message can be a great way to break the ice. But before you do so, just make sure your humor is light and non-offensive, as this can easily run someone away.

Share Something About Yourself

After the initial greeting and question, share a little about yourself related to the topic at hand, but don’t overdo it as you don’t want to come across as conceited. Remember, it’s a two-way conversation, so try to gauge their energy and go from there.

  1. Avoid Generic Openers: Avoid using overused or cliché openers like “Hey, what’s up?” or “How’s it going?” These tend to blend in with the crowd and may not grab their attention.
  2. Be Respectful and Polite: Always maintain a respectful and polite tone in your messages. Avoid making any inappropriate or offensive comments.
  3. Proofread Your Messages: Typos and grammar mistakes can be a turn-off for some people. Take a moment to proofread your messages before sending them.
  4. Be Patient and Respectful of Their Response: Not everyone will respond immediately or positively. Be patient and don’t push if they don’t respond right away or if they’re not interested. Respect their boundaries.
  5. Follow Their Lead: Pay attention to how they respond and try to match their level of enthusiasm and tone. If they use emojis or humor, feel free to do the same.