Daydreaming about your future wedding, doodling someone’s name in your notebook, and making googly eyes at a person is totally normal. At first glance, all of these practices define a healthy, harmless crush. However, there’s are times when those feeling becomes borderline unhealthy. This transition is best described as limerence. Although a slight change, being in a state of limerence is an unhealthy relationship tendency.
Why Is the Term Limerence Trending ?
Joining the ranks of trending relationship concepts like the ‘let them’ theory and decentering men is limerence. The term describes deep infatuation with another person. While it may seem harmless at first, limerence often spirals into obsession, leading to intrusive thoughts, intense longing, and a desperate need for reciprocation.
With ‘limerence vs. crush’ trending on Google and searches for ‘how to beat limerence’ surging by 250 percent, it’s clear that people are eager to understand and overcome this experience. Some even associate limerence with extreme unhealthy behaviors like stalking. But more importantly, many are looking for ways to break free from it. If you’re ready to date with more clarity in 2025, here’s a breakdown of the viral buzzword—plus expert-backed tips to move on
The 3 Stages
Like many relationship theories and buzzwords, limerence unfolds in three stages: infatuation, crystallization, and deterioration. It starts with infatuation—the initial spark of attraction that slowly intensifies. Then comes crystallization, the so-called ‘puppy love’ phase, where you idealize the person and see them as flawless. Finally, deterioration sets in, marking the moment when the obsession fades, and reality kicks in. This stage shatters the fantasy, revealing the person as they truly are—flaws and all.
How Do You Know You’re In Limerence?
Being in a state of limerence is essentially harmless for the other person you have eyes on. The obsession, which mostly translates to thinking about them all day and planning your future together, basically lives in your head. It affects your productivity throughout the day.
However, just because limerence isn’t inherently violent like other unhealthy love habits, it’s damaging to the person in limerence. Unsure about your prognosis? Chances are if you’re feeling nervous, distracted, and euphoric thoughts, you’re in limerence. Additionally, most people in limerence make several excuses for their romantic interest. They won’t allow others to critique the person, or believe the person can do no wrong.
Why Is Limerence Bad?
Limerence is bad for relationships and for the person individually. Sometimes it can cause people to stay longer in relationships than they should. On the other hand, limerence can show up in the form of love bombing. In this scenario, you’re wrongfully convincing the other person you care more than you do. Since limerence relies on full focus on the other person instead of yourself, it can be unhealthy.
Can You Snap Out Of It?
Unlike romantic love, limerence thrives off of the strong feelings for another person and the crippling anxiety that stops you from pursuing that person in real life. Although this relationship tendency features characteristics that describe a loving infatuation, it’s normally one-sided. This is why being in limerence isn’t the healthiest state to experience.
Instead, you should be embracing a healthy falling-in-love approach that doesn’t make you feel dysregulated. Although limerence usually goes away on its own with time, there are some practices to do for speeding up the process. Habits include keeping yourself busy by developing hobbies, staying authentic around this person, and reflecting on your feelings in the form of a journal.