Used as a term for enjoying sexual pleasure, a pillow princess stands for all of the people out there who simply love staying on the receiving end in the bedroom (no shame there). However, pillow princesses are often the ones who tend to exhibit a lack of effort when it comes to sexual engagements and are often the ones who primarily focus on their own enjoyment. In essence, pillow princesses are usually the ones “on the bottom” and tend not to stray away from either one or two positions. By letting your partner do all of the work, pillow princesses get to simply relax and well, enjoy all of the wonders that come with sexual pleasures without feeling obligated to return the favor. If this sounds like you, chances are that you may be a pillow princess, however, there’s only one way to truly tell. Ahead, are all of the signs of a complete pillow princess and where the phrase originated.
What Is A Pillow Princess?
A “pillow princess” is a term used to describe someone who enjoys receiving sexual pleasure but may not reciprocate or participate actively in sexual activities with their partner and romantic interests. Pillow Princesses are usually the ones who may not like giving oral sex and tend to refrain from trying and experimenting with new things in the bedroom.
Where Did The Term ‘Pillow Princess’ Come From?
The term “pillow princess” originated from LGBTQ+ and queer communities, particularly in lesbian and bisexual relationships. Essentially, the term highlights an imbalance in effort and participation during intimate moments and can cause friction in partnerships where one partner may feel like they’re doing all of the work.
And though the term was coined by the LGBTQ+ community, its origins aren’t definitively documented. However, it likely emerged as a way to describe and discuss different dynamics in sexual relationships. Moreover, It’s important to note that the term can be both descriptive and slightly derogatory, as it can imply a lack of enthusiasm or effort in contributing to a mutually satisfying sexual experience.
9 Signs That You’re A Pillow Princess
Passive Engagement
You tend to be passive during sexual encounters, often preferring to be pleasured rather than taking an active role. If you find yourself lying back and letting your partner ‘do the work,’ you might just be a pillow princess.
Limited Initiatives
You rarely initiate sexual activities or show little to no enthusiasm for exploring new things in the bedroom. If you notice a trend that your partner is the one who suggests or initiates sexual activities, maybe it’s time to kick things off yourself for a change.
Minimal Effort
You don’t put much effort into pleasing your partner sexually, focusing primarily on your own enjoyment. Look inward and be honest with yourself: are you a little bit of a lazy partner in bed?
Limited Communication
You may not communicate your desires or provide feedback on what they enjoy or want during intimate moments. Communication isn’t just about voicing things you didn’t like, either – tell your partner when they’re doing a good job, when you like something, and what you might want to do differently.
One-Sided Focus
Their focus during sexual encounters is primarily on receiving pleasure, rather than engaging in mutual satisfaction. Sex is an activity for two (or more), not just for you to feel good.
Lack of Exploration
You may be unwilling to try new things or experiment sexually, especially if it involves reciprocation or effort on your part. This is another time when self-exploration and giving yourself some hard truths might be necessary: did you say no to trying that thing in bed because you’re genuinely uninterested, or because it would be too much work from you?
Preference for Specific Acts
You often prefer specific sexual acts that cater to your own pleasure, without showing much interest in fulfilling your partner’s specific desires.
Reluctance to Give Oral
You may be reluctant to engage in activities such as giving oral sex to your partner. This is especially true if you prefer to lay back and receive, but never give it back.
Short Duration
Sexual encounters may be relatively short, ending once you’ve achieved your own satisfaction without considering your partner’s needs.
What to Do If You’re A Pillow Princess
If you feel like you fit the mold of a pillow princess, first you need to ask yourself if that’s really a bad thing. This is a chance to talk to your partner, too – do they feel like their needs aren’t being met, or do they prefer to be in the position of the giver? Sex is different for everyone, and your partner might like being the more ‘dominant’ one with their very own pillow princess to spoil. Make sure your situation works for both of you. If it doesn’t, then it’s time to make a change.
The first step would be to change up how your sexual encounters work – step in and initiate more often, and focus on giving your partner pleasure instead of just getting it yourself. Consider being on the giving end of oral or penetration, and taking on a ‘dominant’ role – it’s not just for BDSM, after all. Focus on spoiling your partner. Find what makes them feel good – it might wind up making you feel good in the end, too.
It’s important to note that labels like “pillow princess” can be exaggerated and may not fully capture someone’s sexual preferences or behaviors. Having an open and honest conversation between partners about desires, boundaries, and expectations is crucial in any relationship, especially when it comes to intimacy and sexual activities.