Due to societal pressures and fulfilling familial patterns, many women have had children without stopping to ask themselves whether being a parent was an intrinsic desire. As society modernizes and the dialogue has become more open-minded. More women are taking the time to decide whether motherhood is for them.

Many women are opting to live a child-less life, choosing to say no to motherhood. Others couldn’t imagine the idea of giving up the opportunity to be a parent, eager to start families of their own. However, if you do decide to be a mother, then there’s one important question that needs to be answered: how do you know when you’re ready?

Signs You’re Ready For Motherhood

Truthfully, there’s never a perfect time for anything, especially bringing a child into the world. It’s one of the biggest changes one can adjust to. Though ultimately rewarding, motherhood comes with its growing pains and sacrifices. There are still some signs that can indicate you’re ready.

When it comes to knowing if you’re ready to be a mother, here’s what to look for:

  • Emotional Maturity: You’re able to process stress, difficult emotions and challenges with patience and understanding. Being a mother requires emotional resilience, so being able to manage your own feelings is an important sign of readiness.
  • Desire to Nurture: A deep, genuine longing to nurture and care for a child is an obvious signs. If you’ve thought about the responsibilities and have an eagerness to provide love, stability and guidance, then it might signal you’re ready.
  • Financial Stability: While you don’t need to have a lot of money, having a stable financial situation is important. This can mean having a steady job, managing your finances well and understanding that children come with financial costs.
  • Support System: It takes a village and community is everything. Feeling like you have a strong support network, whether it’s a partner, family or close friends, is important. It’s not only about practical support, like childcare, but emotional support.
  • Selflessness: Parenthood requires self-sacrifice. Being ready for that jarring change means always being willing to put someone else’s needs ahead of your own. It’s about being prepared to make sacrifices in your lifestyle for the well-being of your child.
  • Health and Well-Being: Both physical and mental health matter here. Feeling good in your body, managing stress and being in a place where you can prioritize your child is key. Being ready means understanding that your life will shift. You need to be in a good place to handle that transition.
  • Willingness to Learn: No one knows everything about parenting before they start. However, a willingness to learn and grow through the process is crucial. If you’re open to changing your routines, learning from mistakes and asking for help when needed, then it’s a strong sign you’re ready for motherhood.
  • Long-Term Perspective: Understanding that raising a child is a lifelong commitment, not just a phase, shows emotional maturity. A sense of readiness often comes with the realization that being a mother is a permanent decision. You will have to mourn the life you once knew.

Everyone’s journey is unique. However, they can offer an insightful framework for those contemplating motherhood.

How Did You Know You Were Ready? Real Moms Answer

It can be hard to determine when you are ready to enter the wonderful phase of motherhood. Soon-to-be mothers and moms spoke to 21Ninety about how they knew they were ready for this era of their lives.

  • Maria, a mother of two: “It sounds cliche but when I met the right partner! Before that, I didn’t even know if I wanted to have kids.”
  • Janet, an expectant mother: “I always assumed I would have kids because I wasn’t given much choice outside of expectation. It was important for me to take some time and sit with whether or not it was a true desire of mine. I realized with time that it was. I have a yearning to experience how profound a mother and child connection is.”
  • Jasmine, a mother of one: “I was always pretending to be a mom, playing with baby dolls since I was a small child. It was just something I understood about myself.”
  • Cassie, an expectant mother: “I never saw myself as a maternal figure even though I was always surrounded by babies. When my nephew was born, I grew a sense of nurturing I’d never felt before. I’m not sure but maybe it’s related to the strong bond I have with my sister that made me feel that he was like my own son. I didn’t plan for kids even after he was born. But then when I got pregnant, I knew right away I wanted to continue with the pregnancy and have a kid. If I love my nephew this much, I can only imagine the love I have to give my own child.”
  • Monisha, a mother of one: “My son wasn’t planned and I had many conflicting emotions throughout most of the pregnancy journey. There wasn’t one eureka moment; over time I fell more and more in love with him in my womb and knew I would find my purpose in being his mommy.”
  • Brie, a mother of one: “The idea of nurturing, guiding, and leaning alongside my children was always in my heart.” 
  • Daniela, a mother of three: “I didn’t let my emotional desire distract me from doing the work. I waited until I had a partner who I felt safe enough to bear children with, I waited until we had a home, until we scratched enough of our traveling itch and had enough money saved up. I was very intentional in making sure my life before parenthood felt fulfilled before I made the choice to start our family.”
  • Lori, a mother of one: “I’ve known since I was a kid. It’s a feeling you have that’s so certain you literally manifest life.”
  • Monica, a mother of one: “I was buying clothes for my future children when I was 15 and didn’t even give birth until I was 35. I have such a youthful nature, a desire to love and nurture, was always playing with baby dolls. I never even really had career aspirations, I just knew being a mom was my purpose.”