The summer’s over, and that means wedding season is too. This year, perhaps more than any other, people had much to say about it. These conversations weren’t about love, decor or fashion. Instead, they focused on the bridesmaids, who are asked to play crucial roles in the festivities. A viral video featured a woman who recorded a group of women, former bridesmaids, absolutely trashing their “friend’s” wedding. Afterward, “Glamour” published an article about bridesmaid burnout. The message is clear. The girls are tired. But they’re not honest with their friends before committing to such a role. If you want to ensure you’re not the next victim of bridesmaid burnout or a strained friendship, check out the signs that you need to say no to being a bridesmaid when your friend asks you.
If Your Money is Funny
A bridesmaid does more than stand beside her friend on the big day. Depending on the bride, it could mean attending a bachelorette party, planning or participating in a bridal shower, buying a dress, traveling to the location of the ceremony, going to the rehearsal the day before, and more. If your friend asks you to participate in her wedding party, express your financial concerns honestly. Let her know you won’t be able to attend every event. Or you have the more complicated conversation of saying no to the role of bridesmaid. It might not be easy, but it will save you worry and resentment for the money you might have to spend.
You Don’t Think She Should be Getting Married
People frequently attend weddings, betting and even believing the couple won’t last. But standing next to said couple while they exchange their vows in front of God and others is a different level of commitment. If you don’t like the partner she’s chosen, you can tell her that depending on the nature of your relationship. She probably won’t want someone who doesn’t support their union as a bridesmaid. She might not want you in attendance at all. But that’s another sign you shouldn’t be a bridesmaid.
Bridesmaids’ Duties Are Too Much for You Right Now
Even if your bride friend has a whole team behind her, there are bound to be last-minute problems. As a bridesmaid, you might have to step in to solve some of those issues. As the wedding party, you’re behind the scenes for the wedding day and are the first to respond when things don’t go as planned. If you’d rather attend the wedding as a guest with no responsibilities, it’s okay to say that.
You Like to Talk Trash
In an ideal world, we shouldn’t say anything behind our friends’ backs that we wouldn’t say to their faces. In most healthy friendships, that is the case. But all friend groups don’t operate under that same type of standard. If you only want to be a part of the wedding so you can talk about how you hated your friend’s hair, how her dress was ill-fitted, or everything that went wrong that day, then it’s probably best that you sit this one out…and evaluate some of those mean girl tendencies.
You’re Saying Yes Out of Obligation Rather than Desire
If the thought of being a bridesmaid fills you with more doom and gloom than happiness and love for your friend, just skip it. You can get creative and find other loving and helpful ways to support them if you can’t show up for them in this way. Instead of taking on a job you’ll hate, tell your friend the truth before you let her down on one of the most important days of her life.