The thing about trust issues is that they manifest themselves in many different forms. Trust issues can be the feeling of impending doom that seems to hover over all your relationships, romantic and otherwise, or it can be the inability to form deep emotional connections resulting from awful things that have happened to you in the past. Either way, all it takes is one painful event to trigger a thousand hurts. Trust issues are the residue that painful experiences leave behind with their scars. However, trust issues don’t need to leave you terrified of people for life, and scars can grow to become symbols of your strength and a testament to how much your heart can love. If you think you may have trust issues, here are some signs to look out for:
Feeling An Imbalance of Validation
The first thing to understand about trust issues is that it forces you to strike an unhealthy internal and external validation balance. It presents itself either as an inability to regard any other opinion or translates into unhealthy self-sabotage and blame for all the unpleasant things that have happened in your life. If you find yourself struggling with the concept of validating yourself or of others validating you, it can point to a sign of overall inadequate trust.
Feeling Things Are Too Good To Be Real
If you constantly have a feeling that things are too good to ever be true in your life, then it could point to a lack of trust in the process or in yourself. This can also translate to self-sabotage and the inability to take feedback of any kind. The feeling of things being too good to be true also leads to imposter syndrome, the feeling that you don’t deserve to be in a particular space or you are underqualified in the current space you are.
Feeling Like Your Mind Is Attacking You
This is perhaps the easiest way to explain trust issues. If you feel like you are currently overthinking certain situations with a backdrop of doom, then it may feel like your mind is constantly attacking you and convincing you to see reality in a warped way. This can become a film over your mind’s eye, forcing you to view the world as a system that is bent on hurting and abusing you.
Feeling Suspicious All. The. Time.
As awful and uncomfortable as this may sound, if you always feel yourself getting suspicious of your partner, it could be a sign that you do not fully trust them to guard your heart and respect the commitment of the relationship. A relationship that is founded on a lack of trust and a truckload of suspicion is bound to have a lot of complications, and an inherent lack of trust is a fast way to destroy a good thing.
What To Do
If you notice any of the above tendencies for mistrust in yourself, then it is probably a good idea to remember that we all have the power to inflict pain on one another, but trusting is a choice. Although trusting is hard, it is also necessary to trust to a certain degree, the people we love. Although boundaries are important, there is a way for trust and healthy boundaries to co-exist. If you trusted the wrong person in the past, try as much as possible to forgive yourself, attempt to forgive them, and look towards a purposeful life. It is not as easy as it sounds, but it is doable and deciding to move forward with life with a renewed sense of hope is the real bravery, and ultimately a significant first step towards rebuilding trust in yourself and those closest to you.