For some, finding the right partner is important while for others, remaining solo is what works for them. For those in relationships, their actions are often very revealing about the state of their partnership — things such as body language, how they interact with one another in public and the way they speak about each other tend to say a lot. 

A common heard pronoun between couples happens to be “we” whenever they’re referring to themselves or whenever they’re referring to their partners. At times, this can seem like a sign of codependency, but according to researchers at the University of California, the “we-talk” happens to be a sign of a healthy, happy and stable relationship. 

Researchers involved in the report, Meta-Analytic Evidence that We-Talk Predicts Relationship and Personal Functioning in Romantic Couples, coined the term “we-talk” and studied 5,000 participants and analyzed their usage of the word “we.”

Alexander Karan, the first author of the research paper spoke with Psychology Today and shared that, "We-talk is an indicator of interdependence and general positivity in romantic relationships." 

The report also revealed that “interdependence may bring about supportive and relationship-centered behaviors and positive perceptions of the partner — especially important in times of stress and conflict”. In other words, during conflicts, referring to the issue as a “we” issue gives you the chance to see yourself in the conflict and gives a little more room to solve the issue at hand.

“Hearing yourself or a partner say these words could shift individuals’ ways of thinking to be more interdependent, which could lead to a healthier relationship. However, it could also be the case that because the relationship is healthy and interdependent, the partners are being supportive and use we-talk,” shared Megan Robbins and her OBSERVE colleagues who worked on the report. 

Robbins also explained that the couples who use “we-talk” are more than likely already in a healthy relationship but the use of “we-talk” can also provide the feelings of being supported in the partnership. Seeing as the simple use of the pronoun can shift behaviors within a relationship, talk to your partner, it might not be a bad thing to give it a try. 

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