Signs of problematic men and relationship red flags are the talk of the town. The information is out there and for good reason. The dating pool is a jungle. The more knowledge women are armed with, the better. Still, there is an opposite side of the coin. There are very well adjusted, emotionally intelligent men out there. You just have to know the signs to look for.
He Listens
Men enjoy a great deal of privilege in this world. And they’re not always taught to consider the opinions and experiences of women. A man who is able to listen to marginalized groups, consider the realities of their world and even act on their behalf is an asset. In relationships, a man who listens to you is more likely to see the totality of your personhood.
Has More to Offer than His Looks and Money
Most women want a man who looks good. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Attraction is important to starting and sustaining a relationship. And for many women money means security. It means you’ll be taken care of and won’t be left destitute. Still if looks and money are all a man has to offer, the relationship will be quite empty. You’ll want someone emotionally available and physically present. You’ll want someone who offers support and love and safety outside of what they can provide.
Expresses his Emotions Clearly
Society teaches men that their emotions are of no use to them. They’re conditioned to believe that no one cares about what they’re experiencing. So they’re not in the practice of sharing these thoughts and feelings. In fact, some men have suppressed their emotions so effectively, they’re not even aware of what they’re feeling. If he doesn’t know what he’s feeling, good luck knowing what he feels about you or what he may be experiencing in the relationship.
His Words and Actions Align
Have you ever dated a man who makes you feel like you’re the apple of his eye? He communicates regularly. He tells you how much you mean to him. But when questions of commitment or the progression of your relationship arise, he starts acting funny. His acts of affection may feel good in the moment but the lack of consistency will wear you out. A well adjusted man will move in a way that matches his words.
Takes Accountability
People make mistakes. Still when they’re confronted with their wrongdoing, they become very defensive and even unpleasant trying to defend themselves or deflect from their faux pas. A well adjusted person knows how to acknowledge when they’re wrong. Stand in it and offer an apology if necessary. If they’re really on top of their game, they can adjust their behavior moving forward.