Motherhood is a life-changing event for most women. Raising a child comes with a lot of responsibility. So much responsibility, that many women often lose sight of themselves. Fortunately, more and more Black mothers like life and wellness coach Felicia La Tour are opening up about their experiences. Even better, La Tour made time to talk to us about how she balances it all.
Who Is Felicia La Tour?
Social media is full of influencers. Some are self-proclaimed, and some have their fame or wealth leading the way. Others amass their large followings with carefully crafted caricatures of who they are. And then there are those who are a slow burn. Their the ones who lead by intention, with their heart first. People who let their truth inspire us to love ourselves a little better. They motivate us not to be versions of them but to be the best versions of us. They don’t hide their ugly and they don’t depend on their pretty. Felicia La Tour is one of those influencers.
With her adorable children, Peace and Zen, by her side, La Tour has created a community of mothers and women in general who are focused on progression. People for whom “more” is not about material gain but spiritual ascension. She keeps it real about anxiety, co-parenting and still needing time to figure this life thing out. Though she lives in Los Angeles where facades are more inauthentic than the palm trees the city is known for, Felicia, also known by her brand’s moniker Mindful Fee, is as real as it gets.
Felicia La Tour is creating a lane for Black mothers to feel seen and heard. And as a result, many women are becoming empowered to fight against societal pressures regarding motherhood. Take a look at what life and wellness coach Felicia La Tour has to say in her exclusive interview with 21Ninety:
On Who Felicia La Tour Really Is
Iman N. Milner: In your own words, who is Felicia La Tour?
Felicia La Tour: Felicia is all types of things. A mother, first. A self love advocate. A friend, a good one. A businesswoman. And she is a spiritual being trying to exist in this human form the best way she can.
On How Motherhood Changed Her
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IM: In terms of motherhood, you share a lot about giving your kids autonomy and doing things differently than they were done for you. How do you bring all that you are into mothering?
FL: My kids are at the forefront of everything I do. They inspire me a lot. They inspire me to focus on my mental health. They inspire me to put myself first because that, ultimately, means I am putting them first because I am giving them the healthiest version of me. They inspire me to stay creative because that’s how I make money, you know? I told God when I first had kids like ‘alright, I want to be a mom but I also really enjoy what I do.’ I enjoy encouraging people and being creative. And I enjoy making money. The good thing is, I am getting to do all of that. I’ve found a way to get paid to be a mom. It all blends and it just works.
On Evolving
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IM: How much of you as a woman has shifted since becoming a mom?
FL: Oh, I’ve changed so much. It blows my mind. It’s crazy because I feel like I knew myself so much before but I didn’t. I was just exploring. I wasn’t as mindful. I wasn’t aware. Having kids makes the light switch go on inside of you. It’s a challenge but it’s a challenge that is so beautiful and so worth it, if you rise to the occasion of being a parent. You learn to parent yourself through parenting your children. You learn to parent the things inside of you that you feel are broken and inadequate. You learn how to nurture yourself. It’s a very magical experience. Having kids brought me into womanhood.
On Challenging Societal Labels
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IM: So much of the programming surrounding being a mother seems to be pointed in one direction and “Somebody’s Mama” x Mindful Fee completely blows the lid off of those expectations.
FL: Right. I mean when I became a mom, I was 23 and I was at the beginning of my career as a makeup artist. I had always seen motherhood look a certain way. My friends weren’t mothers yet, there was no one around me to model the kind of mom I wanted to be. I would go to these mommy influencer events and I didn’t look like any of them. Not only in skin color but also in conversation. There were older white women at these events talking about how they mothered and I was like “nah, I come from a ‘mama.’” I remember telling the father of my children that I wanted to start a brand that moms could see themselves in. I don’t want to wear a shirt that says “mama bear.” I don’t relate. I wanted colors, I wanted something to look cool in. I’m an artsy creative mom and I don’t see that represented out there. So, I created it. I’m able to feel free and really dance in that space when I focus on my healing because I am being who, I feel, God has created me to be.
On Black Representation
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IM: To your point, it still seems like the mommy influencer/blogger space is missing that true diversity. Black women still don’t really see ourselves represented.
FL: That’s true. I remember I had a client in my chair and she was like ‘I want to be like the white moms—taking my baby on a jog and drinking a green juice‘ and I stopped her and said ‘That’s us! Don’t forget that.’ Black mothers are the originals. We’re very ambitious, loving and nurturing. We are all those things. I am very proud to represent that. Any age—young and old. As long as you’re “Somebody’s Mama” this brand is for you.
On Balancing Motherhood and Her Career
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IM: A lot of people don’t know your background and how you got to this place. Tell me about that.
FL: I grew up in Northern California—Stockton and the Bay Area. When I graduated high school I told my mom there was nothing left there for me. I had a cheerleading coach who told me that I should move to LA and when I came to visit I just felt like it was a place where you could make your dreams come true. I came back and told my mom I was moving and I’ve never looked back. My dream was to become a celebrity makeup artist and I got my first client when I was 19.
I decided I wanted to be on sets and do this professionally. And I did that. When I had my daughter, she’d come on tours with me and that was cool. But then I had my son and I knew I didn’t want to be a mom who was always gone. So, I decided I was going to start a clothing line. It was a way for me to continue being a bomb mom but also feed myself. I’ve always been about my business. Making things work.
On Accountability
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IM: You’re like everyone’s homegirl and accountability partner for doing the things we need to do to be the best women we can be. How do you hold yourself accountable and make sure you show up for yourself?
FL: First of all, my kids always hold me very accountable. The way that I look at parenting is that your kids are trying to teach you something. My biggest thing has always been patience. I can be patient in small ways but not in the ways that matter most, at times. My son has such a strong will and wants what he wants. In those moments where he’s throwing tantrums, it’s like take a second and breathe. Pause. As much as I’m coaching him through that, he’s showing me where I need to do that in my life. I’m a very disciplined human being too. I’ve always been able to hold myself accountable.
On Keeping Up With Wellness
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IM: How do you define wellness and keep yourself well?
FL: It’s a whole body experience. Mind, body and spirit. Peace of mind is the ultimate gift—you can’t pay for it. You have to work for that. I workout a lot. It’s great for my mental health because I have really bad anxiety and it keeps it balanced. When I burn off that energy, it allows me to just be. And the perk is you look bomb and you’re healthy. I try to exercise at least four times a week. I take my diet pretty seriously but not so serious that I’m not able to enjoy my life. Hanging out with my friends. Being in a coparenting situation actually helps because I get days to myself to get my mind together. Traveling is great too. Reading. Writing. Listening to music. All of it helps me maintain.
On Beauty
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IM: How do you define beauty for yourself and how are you doing it for your daughter?
FL: Oh beauty is about the spirit, baby. The way that somebody’s spirit glows and really just shines through. That is just everything. I’ve seen people whose aura is just like “Damn.”
I get that my flesh is attractive but I don’t focus on that. I don’t try to use the way that I look to get things, I’m not that kind of person. I was just taught that beauty is about how you treat people. And Peace…she’s just incredible. She gets it. She’s different. She naturally leads with her spirit. It’s very inspiring to me.
On Her Hopes For Her Audience
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IM: What do you hope people take away from the Mindful Fee brand?
FL: I want people to take the limitations off of their mind. I want them to have hope that everything is going to work out the way it’s supposed to. I want people to surrender to God—whoever that is to you—that’s the biggest thing. Whoever speaks to you, surrender to that. Surrender to your highest self. And just know that you are destined for greatness. It is our birthright to get everything that we want out of life. With work. It doesn’t come easy. Whether it’s reprogramming your mind or working a hard job—everything is here to teach you. I want my content to live forever.