A key to living a soft life is putting yourself first. That even translates to loving yourself. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, it is always important to show yourself love. What better way to do that than to do it in your love language? Here are a few tips for self-love in YOUR love language.

Words Of Affirmation

For those who have words of affirmation as a love language truly value verbal acknowledgments of affection. This can include frequent “I love you’s,” compliments, words of appreciation and verbal encouragement. Giving these things to yourself may look a tad different but aren’t unachievable!

  1. Daily affirmations-  Repeating affirmations to yourself help you show yourself some love verbally. “I am worthy of my own love too” and “I am more than enough” are just a few affirmations that can help you improve your outlook on life and find confidence.
  2. Journal- Write down your strengths and everything about you that you’re grateful for. Document the things you accomplish, feel good about, do right, like about yourself, etc. You can also reflect on past experiences and work through emotions by writing down your thoughts. 
  3. Love Letter- Letters are a beautiful way to tell someone how you feel, even yourself! Yes, it may sound silly but, writing yourself a love letter allows you to reflect on the positive aspects of yourself. This also gives you something to look back on when you start to feel down and need a little extra boost. What’s better than hearing it from yourself?

Acts Of Service

With an acts of service love language, you value people going out of their way to make your life easier. This can look like bringing you soup when you’re sick, making your coffee for you in the morning, or picking up your dry cleaning for you when you’ve had a busy day at work. It may sound impossible to do this for yourself but it’s mainly about prioritizing the things you need! Think of it as what can you do now that your future self would be thankful for?  Set yourself up for peace of mind.

  1. Cook- Preparing a healthy dish for yourself is a great self care activity. Put thought and effort into grocery shopping and your meal preparation.  Although take out and microwave meals are super easy, there’s something very special about a home cooked meal that you put together for yourself, by yourself. Putting time and care into preparing a meal just for you makes it all that much better to enjoy once it’s complete.
  2. Organize & clean- Creating an organized, clean and aesthetically pleasing home environment for yourself is a great act of service for yourself. You’re ultimately easing your peace of mind.  A great way to get organized is by using a planner, especially one that incorporates self care! Cleaning your living space is another great self care activity if you receive love through acts of service. Whether it’s washing the dishes or  making your bed, find the areas of your home that bring feelings of stress or anxiety and do something to fix it.
  3. Self care appointments- Schedule regular physical, dental and mental health check-ups. Grooming appointments fall under this category as well! Scheduling nail appointments, hair appointments and wax appointments all are ways to show yourself how much you care Without your physical and mental health, you have nothing.


Gifts are pretty simple as a love language. You feel loved when people give you gifts. It’s not about being materialistic but mainly about the thought behind the item. If this is you, you value the gift-giving process; the careful thought to the gift, the deliberate choosing of the perfect object and the emotional benefits from receiving the present. You can give yourself this love by simply reminding yourself to treat yourself!

  1. Brings you joy– Buy only the things that bring you positive vibrations. Have you had your eye on something special lately? Go for it! Occasional indulgence can be another way to find self care through gifts.
  2. Travel- Another way to treat yourself? Give yourself new experiences! Travel and see the world. Even if you’re on a budget, it’s still possible! Consider volunteering or cutting costs with friends for a cheap trip.
  3. Invest in yourself- Want to pursue a higher degree? Take up a new skill? Learn how to be a yoga instructor? Do your research to apply for grants or take up new classes in your community! Gift yourself with knowledge; anything that will help you develop and invest in yourself.


Quality Time

A quality time love language translates to you feeling the most adored when someone actively and intentionally wants to spend time with you. You particularly love active listening, eye contact, and full presence. Listening to your needs and desires is the first step in quality time for yourself.


  1. Date yourself-Solo date nights may not sound thrilling but I assure you, there something beautiful about taking yourself out for a change.Maybe get a nice meal, enjoy a local coffee shop, or watch your favorite movie on the couch. Check out these solo date ideas for more inspiration!
  2. Meditate- Meditation is a great way to help you be more present in the moment. It is also an opportunity for quiet, quality time spent with yourself.  Set aside time for daily mindfulness practices such as meditation or deep breathing.
  3. Hobbies- Hobbies are a great way to spend quality time with yourself. Activities you enjoy outside of work  helps you let go, let loose and have fun. Reconnect with a hobby you lost time for or try something completely new, the opportunities are endless. Make time for yourself to enjoy leisure and hobbies.


Self love is the best love. 😂💜 #fyp #theblackphone

♬ original sound – Terry Reloaded

Physical Touch

Physical touch love languages just mean that you feel loved when you receive physical signs of affection. This includes kissing, holding hands, cuddling on the couch, and sex. Physical intimacy and touch can be incredibly affirming and serve as a powerful emotional connector. Obviously, you can’t touch yourself in the same manner that someone else can but it is still possible to give yourself the physical touch you need!


  1. Spa day- What else screams physical touch than a day at the spa? Manicures, pedicures, facials, deep conditioning treatments, massages and all the works! You are worth extraordinary care and you have to give it to yourself! Looking for a cheaper alternative instead of hitting the spa? Create a spa day at home for yourself! Purchase a back massager, get all the tools you need for a facial and nail care and get busy!
  2. Tend to your skin- Simple acts like moisturizing your skin is a great way to give yourself the physical touch you need. Just make sure you’re being intentional about it. As you touch your skin, recognize each body part. You can even go as far as to thank each body part for all it does for you. A skin care routine not only benefits your skin but gives you the physical touch you value.
  3. Physical movement- Stretch your muscles. Stretching helps your muscles recover after a workout. It can also reduce aches and pains. You can find YouTube videos with guided stretching or even attend a yoga class! Another way to get physical is through exercise. Get your body moving with an at home workout, going for a walk, or heading to the gym. Physical activity can do wonders for mental health.