Jada Pinkett-Smith came together with her daughter, Willow Smith, and mother, Adrienne Banfield Jones, to create Red Table Talk — a series of open and candid conversations with family and friends in the comfort of the Smith’s home. The series is currently airing on Facebook Watch. This past week's episode has been making some noise as Willow revealed a secret to her mother and grandmother at the red table.
This episode’s focal point of "Surviving Loss" featured the generations of women discussing loss they’ve endured and survived. As the episode opened, Jada is seen in her glam room casually speaking with her mother, Adrienne, until she got a phone call which left her a little distraught — she received news that a close friend had passed away.
The episode continues after the crew gives Jada a minute to recollect herself before heading to the red table. Willow then entered the room and the trio began to discuss what just happened. The conversation then turned to Willow when Jada asked her about a time she'd experienced loss.
"I would have to say, honestly, I feel like I lost my sanity at one point," Willow said. "It was after that whole 'Whip My Hair' thing and I had just stopped doing singing lessons and I was kind of just in this gray area of, 'Who am I? Do I have a purpose? Is there anything I can do besides this?'" Willow continues share about the struggles touring, promoting and not wanting to finish an album. "And after all of that kind of settled down and it was like a kind of lull, I was just listening to a lot of dark music," she said. "It was just so crazy, and I was plunged into this black hole, and I was, like, cutting myself."
Both Jada and Adrienne were in absolute shock after Willow shared her heartbreaking revelation, neither having any idea that Willow had gone through such a traumatic time at the tender age of nine. While shocked, Adrienne and Jada asked Willow to share more about her experience. "It was on my wrist," said Willow. "I mean, you can't even see it, but there's still a little something there. But, like, totally lost my sanity for a moment there. I never talk about it because it was such a short, weird point in my life. But you have to pull yourself out of it.”
I continued to try to pick my heart up off of the ground as the episode continued, "I honestly felt like I was experiencing so much emotional pain but my physical circumstances weren't reflecting that," shared Willow when her mother and grandmother asked why she turned to self-harm. Jada commented that perhaps Willow's self-harm made that emotional pain more "tangible" or more "real" to which Willow responded and agreed, “instead of, like, a ghost in your mind."
Willow mentions that she didn’t self-harm for a long time and while she recovered from it, not many people do. Self-harm is most often associated with disorders such as anxiety, depression and borderline personality, however, self-harm isn’t always a symptom of mental illness. Not everyone comes out on the other side and seeking help from a loved one or mental help professional can be the first step with battling the issue.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or text Crisis Text Line at 741-741.