After Greg Leakes passed away many people wondered if NeNe Leakes was grieving him properly. She was out and about, and revealed a new boyfriend within a few months of Greg’s passing. People speculated that she didn’t care about her late husband or she wasn’t taking the time to heal healthily. But anyone who’s grieved before understands that there is no proper way to grieve. She was contemplating marrying for companionship.
Recently, on her YouTube series Life of NeNe, Leakes shared that she is having a tough time living without her husband. During the emotional conversation, Leakes wondered if she should marry someone so she can avoid dying alone.
“Maybe I should just marry whether I’m 100% happy with the person or not,” she said.
“Maybe I should marry just so that I have a partner — a partner for life.”
She shared that even if she didn’t marry for love, at least someone would be there.
“Maybe we will have an agreement that this person would be there for me and I would be there for them [during] hard times or medical times,” Leakes continued. Ultimately, Leakes decided that she wants to be with someone who loves her and whom she loves in return. But her conversation was inspired by a doctor’s visit when she didn’t know who to list as her emergency contact.
It made me wonder, is there really anything wrong with marrying for companionship?
The short answer is no. Marriages come in all types of shapes and sizes. Some marry for business reasons while others marry to continue family legacy and protect assets. And people marry out of cultural tradition, in many parts of the world. Marrying for reasons outside of love is more common than you’d think. If both parties are clear about the nature of the union, there is nothing wrong with that.
In fact, research has shown that companionate love, where two people agree to stay together for commitment and intimacy, can be quite satisfying. After all, people will tell you the foundation of any healthy and long-lasting relationship is a solid friendship. And that’s the essence of companionship.
You’ll Have a Partner in Crime
You prioritize things that strengthen the bond you share as friends when romance is not the focus. You’re more likely to share common interests when marrying for companionship. People in purely romantic partnerships might not always want to spend time together. But a companion is more likely to enjoy the the activities you love. There’s an understanding that you don’t want to be alone. So, while people in marriages for love may have to work to maintain their individuality or ensure they get alone time, a marriage for companion is more likely to be ride or die.
They’ll Always Be There
I have more than a few family members who married, remarried and remarried again (and again) because they didn’t want to die alone. Sadly, some partners, particularly men, have a tendency to leave when things get tough in romantic marriages, according to breastcancer.org. Especially, if you’re not able to perform the same romantically or if your physical appearance changes. But tough times calls for closeness instead of withdrawal when you have a companions love. Your companion is more likely to step up during rough times.
You Might Be Missing Something
On the flip side, if sexuality and intimacy are important to your daily life, the lack of passionate interaction could pose a problem after a while. You can solve this by having a companion, and agreeing to have other people that fulfill your sexual desires. You have to be honest with yourself and others about what you’ll need long term.