Cheating is unfortunately common in relationships today. So much so that many question whether monogamy is a thing of the past. According to a recent survey conducted by Health Testing Centers, 46 percent of people admit to being unfaithful in their past or current relationship. That’s nearly half of the population! And with the numbers being so high, dating can sometimes feel pointless.

Cheating As A Cultural Phenomenon

When it comes to relationships, infidelity is nothing new. In fact, cheating was also prevalent back in the day. Many women were aware that their husbands were unfaithful. And because it was considered a stain on the family, they often kept quiet about it. Some women took the secret to their graves to protect their families. But today, more women are putting themselves and their children first by speaking up and leaving.

Why Do People Cheat?

If you’ve ever been the victim of infidelity, you might have wondered a million questions. Why did they cheat? What did he or she have that I didn’t? Where did I go wrong? Sadly, these are common questions many people ask themselves after finding out their partner has been unfaithful. Some people even blame themselves for their partner’s infidelity.

But it’s important to recognize that people cheat for a variety of reasons. Some cheat because it boosts their ego, while others do it because they’re unhappy with themselves. Regardless of what their reasoning is, it’s not your fault. 

Infidelity is common and often unavoidable. But fortunately, there are a number of red flags to look out for when suspicions start to arise. Here are eight signs that your partner may be cheating:

1.

They’re Withdrawn

Upset Black woman sitting next to her partner who's preoccupied with his phone
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If your partner is cheating, you might notice that they start to act more withdrawn in the relationship. They may come up with excuses for not texting or talking on the phone as often as they once did. They also might not be as willing or available to spend time together, especially on weekends.

Of course, there are many reasons for a change in your partner’s schedule, like new or added work obligations. But if your beau is consistently unavailable without cause, it may be worth considering whether they’re being faithful or not.

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They may even become more secretive with you. For example, changing the passwords on their electronic devices or social media accounts is common among cheating partners.

2.

They Start Love-Bombing

Open relationCheating Black man with his arms around a smiling Black woman
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Infidelity doesn’t always look a certain way. Some cheating partners act more moody than usual, while others become distant. Another common behavior among cheaters is love-bombing.

People who cheat sometimes become overly affectionate to throw their partners off their trail. Many women are bombarded with gifts and paid vacations from their spouses only to find out that it was all a coverup for their infidelity.

Cheating man kissing his girlfriend's forehead as they sit on the couch
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Of course, there are plenty of men and women who are naturally loving and doting partners. But if you notice your boo suddenly starting to add on the charm, consider if there are other signs of infidelity that you should look out for.

3.

Their Appearance Changes

Cheating Black man working out
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Some unfaithful partners change their appearance to become more attractive to the person they’re cheating with. For example, they might start going to the gym more often or shift their diet to become more physically appealing.

While these are usually good changes that should be encouraged, they don’t always come from a genuine place. So if you’re already having doubts, don’t count them out. They could point to a bigger problem in your relationship.

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Being overly concerned about your appearance isn’t healthy, cheating or not. And when it comes to infidelity, it’s often a telltale sign that there may be trouble in paradise.

4.

They Become Argumentative

Black couple arguing
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Another common behavior many cheaters display is irritability or annoyance with their partners. This can be particularly distressing when combined with other behaviors like withdrawal or a change in the bedroom.

They may find little things you do annoying, like forgetting to put away a dish or the way you eat. They might even start to pick fights with you. Simple questions or remarks can turn into full-blown arguments. But often, these fighting matches are just an excuse for them to leave the house to be with someone else.

Black woman leaving the scene of an argument with her partner
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When it starts to feel like the only time they ARE happy is when they’re NOT around you, it’s likely time to reevaluate the relationship.

5.

They Want To Change You

Black woman looking at herself in the mirror
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Another common sign of infidelity is when an unfaithful partner becomes unhappy with their partner’s appearance. They might make snide remarks about your weight or suggest you do your hair a certain way. This is often because they want you to look similar to the person they’re cheating with.

Plenty of unsuspecting women have gone to extreme lengths to please their spouses, from extreme dieting to plastic surgery. But unfortunately, many women find that when it comes to a cheating partner, their efforts are never enough.

Black woman tugging on her hair while looking in the mirror
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While it’s natural to want your partner to be attracted to you, it’s not healthy to conform to their ideas of beauty. Instead, someone who loves and cares about you will encourage you to adopt healthy lifestyle habits like exercising or eating nutritious foods. They might even support you by suggesting you hike together or cook healthy meals as a couple.

What they won’t do is push you to alter your appearance for their benefit. And if they do, consider it a red flag.

6.

Sex Is Different

Upset couple sitting on the bed after an argument
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A good way to tell that your partner could be cheating is when your sex life abruptly changes. This can mean that you’re having less sex than you were before. And in some cases, your partner may stop wanting to have sex altogether.

You may also notice that your partner has started to adopt new sex positions or language in the bedroom.
There’s nothing wrong with some variety in the bedroom. It can be a great way to add some spice to your relationship. But when your boo starts to pull moves that you’ve never seen before or are uncomfortable with, it may be time for a serious conversation.

Black man sitting on the edge of the bed away from his sad female partner
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Talk to your partner about the sudden change in the bedroom. But instead of accusing them, approach the conversation with openness and respect. There may be a valid reason for their behavior, like stress or a medical condition, which may feel embarrassing or shameful to some.

7.

They Accuse You Of Cheating

Black woman trying to talk her partner who's shutting her out
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Many cheaters become suspicious of their partners due to their own guilt. An unfaithful loved one might start to question you about your friends, co-workers, and other people they deem someone you’d cheat with.

Most of the time, they have no reason to believe that you’re cheating on them. Their accusations can often seem to come out of nowhere.

Black couple arguing
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Having your partner doubt your love for them can feel terrible. And when this happens, you may feel like explaining yourself to quell their fears. But if you find yourself constantly shooting down random accusations, it’s important to find out what’s really up.

8.

Their Phone Becomes A Big Deal

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A good way to know whether your partner is cheating is by looking at their phone. And no, that doesn’t mean to go snooping through their phone. That’s an invasion of privacy that can have potentially dangerous outcomes. Instead, you can learn all you need to know about your partner’s fidelity by watching how they act around their phone.

Perhaps your partner suddenly becomes nervous or awkward when they hear their phone ring. Or maybe they rush to answer the phone before you can see who’s calling.

Upset Black woman sitting on the edge of the bed while her partner is preoccupied with his phone
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When they’re on the phone, they might speak in short or vague sentences to keep you from recognizing who they’re talking to. And if they’ve changed their passcodes so that you can’t unlock their phone, it could be a sign that you’re dealing with a cheater.

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